Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Tuesday, February 17

Red Eye



Two Scenarios Make for an Unfortunate Meeting:

Scenario 1. I have allergies. Back in the Fall, I thought I had pink eye (and all sorts of other things, stemming from two whole other scenarios, such as my son going to preschool and me being a hypochondriac). I didn't, turns out, after using up two bottles of eye drops which I am apparently allergic to. But anywho, I've been walking around looking like I have pink eye ever since - sometimes it's not so bad, sometimes (because it's allergy related) I look like I should be hospitalized.

Scenario 2. I'm taking a class at a local college, mostly for fun, but my professor seems to think I am an idiot. He's always making eye contact with me, which I'm used to from any speaker since I'm a suck-up good listener, but this is different. It's like he's making sure I've got it. Then he always comes over and touches my shoulder until I look up at him, then he reexplains everything, nodding and giving me "question eyes." And it's not one of those creepy-old-guy-wants-to-touch-me-because-I'm-oh-so-hot deals at all. It's just like he thinks I'm stupid.

Last week, it hits me. Like a cartoon piano from a brownstone, it hits me. He thinks I'm high.

12 comments:

Call Me Cate said...

My eyes are often bloodshot either from allergies or lack of sleep but I've wondered how many people just think I'm hungover or on crack.

Anne said...

hahahahah
Oh my goodness! Well I guess the question is is that better than mentally challenged?

Mrs. Jelly Belly said...

LMAO - I love Totally Awkward Tuesdays!

My eyes are a little red today, too. I swear I'm not hungover, but my coworkers are all looking at me funny. I'll probably get picked for a random drug test this afternoon...

Morgan the Muse said...

HAHA! I love it! Do you act like you are high, or is it just based on your red eyes? Still, either way, that is pretty funny.

Snarky A. said...

Ha ha! That is so funny!
I love Totally Awkward Tuesdays!

I hope your eyes start to feel better soon!

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

Still... I've never heard of a professor who was so solicitous to his high students.... Are you sure he's not hitting on you?! :)

Ryan Ashley Scott@Optimistic Cynicism said...

Cate - visine doesn't always work, does it?

Anne - high is better - at least that would be a choice.

Mrs. Jelly Belly - haha! good luck w/ the RDT.

Morgan - I laugh a lot, does that count?

Snarky - Thanks, me too.

Amy - He comes from a part of town that is notorious for "hippy" behavior. There's no judgement from him. He just wants to make sure it doesn't interfere with my work, which makes it even funnier.

Xazmin said...

Thanks for making me laugh out loud! My baby (2 year old) says "what are you laughing at mommy?"

Thanks for stopping by. I enjoy the hard rock as well as the Boy Bands! Bon Jovi - all time favorite band, followed by Def Leppard and Poison!

Sassy Britches said...

Hahaha! I'm sorry for your plight, but I'm not sorry about the second part because it makes such a good story! :)

Megan said...

LMAO!!! So funny! *snicker*

wendy said...

Bahahahaha!! That's hysterical!!!!!

Ryan Ashley Scott@Optimistic Cynicism said...

Xazmin - Yes, the 80's rule.

Sassy Britches - It's funny now that I've figured out he doesn't think I'm an idiot.

Megan - It's happened to you, too, hasn't it!

Wendy - I live to please.