You may remember this post from a couple weeks ago when my sister and I took a little trip back in time. I might have mentioned the nice, airy outdoor venue in Cincy where it took place, but I'm dedicating an entire post to the... erm... facilities.
Despite our sneaky photag skills, we neglected to take any pictures of the lines to get into the women's restroom. Ugh, the lines! They wouldn't have even fit into one entire picture. The beer lines were at least 3 songs long, but still didn't compare to the wait to enter the ladies room.
Before I go any further, I'll tell you that my grandma (keep in mind I'm her favorite - suck it, others) once complained that, "Honey, you pee at the drop of a hat!" after being tortured by the demands of my mini-bladder on a road trip. That was even before old age and birthing a child. When I have to go, I. Have. To. Go. Period.
You can see where this is going, right? The men's line was shorter than the beer line, so we hopped in. Let me tell ya, it was almost worth standing in a puddle of urine that was the floor just to overhear the "conversations" going on in there. Lots of cursing and yelling and I kept waiting on a brawl to bust through the stall door as I hovered mere inches from certain doom (ie: a stopped-up, filled-to-brim toilet). Apparently though, that's just how men talk to each other! No "excuse me" or polite smiling, no stopping in front of the mirror to reapply make-up or check hair. Hell, I didn't see one of them even look at the sink or soap dispenser before shoving their way back out the door. Best conversation of the men's room, though?
Random guy, to my sister: "Here ya go!" as he cupped his hands near her knees.
My sister, in response: "A real gentleman would use his mouth."
Yep, that's my sister, folks. She can hang with the best of them. I was the one cowering behind her, strangling her shirt like a puppy trying to escape it's leash.
There was one other lady who followed our lead, but I'm pretty sure she didn't know what she was doing. I nearly fell into the nasty toilet when she started hollering, "I see penis!! I see penis!! *cackle cackle cackle*"
Sanity or Patience: choose one.
Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?