Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Wednesday, December 30

A toddler sized slug

Dear idiot stranger who slapped my butt on Saturday,

Some things are not at all what they appear. For instance, when you saw my 5 foot frame from behind, maybe you thought I looked small. You might have heard me cackling with glee at the funny things my friends' were saying and figured I had had a few beers. Perhaps you thought my back side just screamed out "Spank Me!" Whatever it was, you were obviously wrong.

The next time you think about playing a little grabby with a chick whose face you haven't even seen, I hope you'll think of me.

I hope your face hurt the next morning, and I hope you remember why.

Sincerely pissed,


Dear friends who witnessed the incident,

Sincerest apologies.

Also, thanks for bringing me back down to reality with a hearty guffaw. I was starting to feel a tad big-headed and kind of tough. For an instant.

Until one of you explained that I resembled an angry toddler swiping at her parent in protest to a spanking. Then again, aside from the age/relationship thing, that was exactly what went down. But thanks anyway for shrinking my expanded ego. I might have had t-shirts printed up by now if not for your candor.

"Keep your hands to yourself, and I will too." (a quote from my Nano)

Yours with Laffs,


Dear blogland readers,

Be safe with your New Years Eve celebrations. Watch out for strangers!

See you next year,



Corinne said...

Oh my!!! That'll teach him to go grabbing strangers rear ends, go you!

H F W said...

Sometimes my toddler can really wind up a swing ... so maybe you really did more damage than your friends claimed. lol.

Call Me Cate said...

I've never been grab-assed by anyone but my husband. But someone did once lick my elbow on Bourbon Street. I turned to punch but there were so many people...

I shall be careful of strangers in the proximity of my booty tomorrow night. Promise.

adrienzgirl said...

Wow, you're a slugger huh? That is too funny! :D

Working Mommy said...

You go girl!! That totally sounds like something I would have done! Happy New Year!!


Eva Gallant said...

I plan to stay home and play grab0ass with my Hubby!

Michelle said...

Uhhh wow. I thought these obnoxious things only happened in Europe (ahh the days of being an innocent high schooler riding the metro!). So glad that you were able to give the idiot the correct what for, but geeeeez.... What's wrong with people?

Holly Ann said...

I want your t-shirt... print 'em up... i love it... i had somethin similiar happen to me at a concert one night but kept it to myself for fear that Mr. Man would kill him if i said anything... it was way intrusive and made me feel sick... i applaud you...

momminitup said...

I heard about this incident :) Having a Laffs "incident" of my own around the holidays, though, I am not one to talk!

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