Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Wednesday, July 18

Facebook Profiling

My Facebook stalking phase ended a while ago, but I still like to do a Mrs. Cravits scroll-through a couple times a day. I've noticed a few trends. It seems like all my 200+ closest friends have fallen into a "type" of posting rut. Here are a few I've noticed:

1. The GRIPER. Everything is a complaint - and there's always an ALL CAPS word or twenty. Even good news is downgraded to a more positive negitive.
EX: I cannot BELIEVE I just got a promotion and now I have to do more WORK just because they're paying me more! Ugh!

2. The FU-er. This guy has some unresolved anger issues. Also, he rarely names the person to which he is directing the stream of curses. I suspect he is a weenie in real life. I am tempted to delete, but his posts are such a train wreck, I can't look away.
EX: Hey you F*ing Mother F*er! Yeah you! Watch your C*-Sucking back mofo!

3. The Pinner. It takes five minutes to scroll down past the seemingly infinite number of Pinterest-style humor pictures. I like these posters, but wonder if this is a passive form of the FU-er.

4. The You-Tuber. Same as #3, but with videos. I'll spare you an example.

5. Gamer. She just earned 50 bazillion coins in Slotty-Zingo-Jewel-Extravaganzia!! So did thirty of her friends and they're all posted on top of one another. Again, you know what I'm talking about without an example.

6. The New Chain Letter Sender. He probably still won't step on a crack because it might break his mother's back.
EX: Repost this post if you're human! Ignore if you're a big fat smelly turd.

7. See my kids? See my pets? Nothing but photos and bragging and stories about her kids or pets. (sidenote: I think this is my category).
EX: My dog just sneezed and then my kid laughed and then we all had ice cream! It was amazing!

8. Inspiration Pusher. Affirmations are this guy's crack (the drug, not the butt kind), and he wants everyone else to get hooked, too. They make everything seem possible. Corny doesn't even begin to describe. (sidenote: I might be an addict - I do love reading these).
EX: Did you know... YOU can make the choice to stand up and put your boogers in a tissue instead of on the wall! You can! You can! I know you can do it! Go for it, you fabulous snot-blower, you!!

9. What-the-what? Some people write things that sound really smart, but that I just don't understand. Then I feel stupid.
EX: Supercalafragalisticexpialidocious. Look it up.

10. Normal people. You just never know what they're gonna do.

Have you noticed many of these? Have any other Facebook Profiles to add?


Eva Gallant said...

The one that drives me crazy is the one who insists on updating us on every move she makes.
"Cereal for breakfast this morning and off to work."
"Lunch with Allson and Tommy."
"Drinks with friends after work."
"Chatted with my college student daughter on the phone."
"Gotta' shower and hit the sheets now."

Jenny said...

Sorry, it's been a bad couple of weeks :-P We share some of the same people in our "friends" and I have noticed the same things. I am fairly certain that a lot of the inspiration pushers are born-again because they were never that nice in school.

One other one I have started to notice is what I call the hijacker. They very rarely post anything of their own but the very minute some posts something that is "against their views" they are on it like white on rice and hijack the entire comment stream.They never seem to have the backbone to post their opinion on their own status, and think that's what really bugs me about those people.