What A Louse!

Spent all day yesterday being thankful we didn't get lice. Our friend's kid wasn't so lucky - found the buggers yesterday and immediately sent us a heads-up message. They don't know where she got them; no one gave them a shout or a warning or a "hey my kid has lice and was playing with your kid yesterday" call. I say, how unbelievably indecent!

You know, there are gift baskets for nearly everything nowadays; birthdays, showers, new jobs, graduations, celebrations of any kind. Where is the basket that says, "I'm sorry my child gave your child lice."? There should be one of those!

The Louse Basket:

• 2 water spray bottles, one each for diluting essential oils
• a vile of tea tree oil, the smell of which tends to deter lice
• vile of lavender oil, less effective deterrent, but relaxing to smell and spray on bed/pillow
• tea tree shampoo, again, keeping those pesky bugs away
• a box or two of rid with those little nit combs (ick!), heaven forbid you have to use it twice
• extra vacuum bags, because you'll have to sweep EVERYTHING over and over again
• a jug each of laundry detergent and softener, maybe in a nice lavender scent
• gourmet coffee, you might be up for a looooong while cleaning this mess up
• pedometer, so you can at least get some comfort out of all the extra work you have to do
• 2 CD's, pump-it-up version to keep you going; soothing music to help you relax later
• box of tissues, for the tears your child will shed while you rip the suckers out of his head
• plastic bags and duct tape, you'll have to smother poor Teddy for a few days.
• Ear plugs, in case your child needs Teddy to sleep.

and finally, the most important item in this basket, topped only by your sanity, which you may never recover:

• Mint Milano Cookies. One box for each person in your household.

Aaahhhh, all is right with the world once more.

I understand that it's embarrassing. Lice. Eewww... the word sends chills down my spine. But if you're too cowardly to make the call and find out later that your child's best friend got lice, too... Well, then you need to send The Louse Basket. Or maybe you could call it the "I'm A Louse Basket."