Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Thursday, March 5

Thursday's Things: Fling My Stuff

SITS is having a Spring Fling event on Tuesday, March 10th, complete with hourly giveaways. All the Sitsters are encouraged to have giveaways, as well. They recommend anything from a DVD we don't watch anymore to gift cards to whatever, so I've been wracking my ever-loving brain for something to give away, and these are some of the THINGS I've come up with:
  1. Half-empty bottles of B&B Works lotion in plumeria, sweet pea and a litter-box unrecognizable scent that has turned clear and has no legible sticker.
  2. Half-burned Yankee candles, which apparently contain lead.
  3. Ten-year-old sample bottle of Clinique something-or-other perfume that smells like skunk farts toilet flowers.
  4. A shoe-box full of scratch-off tickets. I've checked them, but they might still be winners if I missed a number... or several numbers.
  5. Two broken toilet seats. Put them together, they might make one whole!
  6. One CD player/radio with a broken antenna and missing cord. It still runs on batteries. Sometimes.
  7. A lovely microwave, two years old, in full working order. Bonus: it gives your head body a nice green pretty glow.
  8. The last three weeks worth of my paid-up dues for Group Therapy with Grandmas - I'm not so sure I want to work that hard to look good. Anyone love pain? Anyone?
  9. Five ten-packs of Pic pens. I got a great deal on these! You'll just have to find your own ink.
  10. Bag of barely touched, uncooked Quinoa. There must be someone out there who thinks it's not horribly disgusting that bad. Or that can even pronounce it.

There you have it; all my best unwanted crap used THINGS. This is how much I love you guys. Feel free to vote on your favorite!


Funny in my mind said...

1. I will give to my son to give to the large kid in Algebra who smells. Bad.
2.You never know when you might get desperate during a power outage or Armageddon.
3.I will share with the girl at work who still wears Primo fake Georgio.
4.Stocking stuffers for next Christmas. I will be broke and paying for college.
5.I have 2 broken toilet seats too. For some reason they are still in the garage. Garage sale items, maybe? The more the merrier.
6.Sometimes you only want a cd player to work off and on. Like when my son is listening to bad music.
7.I am pasty. A good glow could do me some good.
8.Pain is my friend. I own a restaurant for God's sake.
9.Ink just stains things, saves me hairspray and stain stick.
10.Could it be used to kill moles? I have a yard full.

Count me in!!!!!

Donnetta said...

I'll take the Clinique. With the middle and baby chicklets - farts abound in this house. It will blend RIGHT in!

Mrs. Jelly Belly said...

LOL! And I'll take that quinoa (keen-wah!), thanks. Everything else, I already own. :)

Call Me Cate said...

I'm a big fan of lead-based candles so sign me up for those!

Lesha said...

I was going to call dibs on the Quinoa too! I searched my local po-dunk grocery store and couldn't find any. But I know I can get it at the "big city" grocery, so Mrs. Jelly Belly, it's all yours!

Snarky A. said...

I would love me some pretty glow, so sign me up for that magic microwave! :)

Sturgmom said...

Visiting from SITS!

Gee, your list of giveaways is so enticing!! But ever the martyr, I'll just let someone else have my share. :)

Sarah said...

I've got a completely untouched bag of quinoa. BBC America has a "You Are What You Eat" show- extremely obese people dropping the weight with this expert. She swears by quinoa. I can't seem to make myself cook it...

RamblingMother said...

is it a package lot or do I have to sign up ten different times????

Veggie Mom said...

All GREAT ideas! I'm doing a 10-day Pop'rs giveaway starting Sunday, then a one-day giveaway-within-a-giveaway for the Spring Fling on Tuesday. Should be fun! Does Monsoon want to do another video?

Hyacynth Filippi Worth said...

Ohh, broken toilet seats! Enticing. Is one of them the one where you found your holiday gift after shopping?

Megan said...

Ya know? I'm having a tough time deciding so how about if my number is drawn, ya just surprise me. ;0)

Ann's Rants said...

Great post. Keen-Wa. I'm SO flattered that you think I'm slutty!!!! xoxoxox

Michelle said...

that is hysterical!