Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Tuesday, April 7

It's not as much fun as it looks


My husband got a gag gift of electric nose hair clippers for Christmas one year. He got it out of the box and asked if I wanted to try them out. Gross, I don't have nose hair - I'm a lady! ...and if you ever get to the point of having to use that thing in any orifice of your body, we will no longer be cosleeping.
It lay there for days... on our dresser, stuffed hastily back into the box... a few jokes cracked here and there about the vibrating cutter... Every time I passed the thing, I was more intrigued. Getting past the whole "old-man-ear-hair-and-long-freaking-nose-fur" idea, and wondering (much like the electric shaver in 5th grade) how it worked without cutting the tender skin underneath the furry grossness.

Wondering, wondering, wondering... hmmm... is it just like the shaver, which ended up being such a big relief after 2 years of hearing Janet Hopling talk about how it rips the hair out at the root, only to find it didn't even give a close cut? Or more like that innocent-looking car lighter my uncle just haaad to sniff... up close.

Come on, I'm not that weird. You've all experimented with things that should not have ever been invented (ehem... pool-foolery/vomit-flavored jelly beans/spandex...). For the record, I do not have nose hair, nor will I ever admit to any neeern-nnnt-tz-tz-z-z-ttz sound coming from the thing as the poky part tried to escape through my upper nostril. But OH! the blood. It tried to kill me! There was blood everywhere - and by everywhere, I mean all over my... uh, well, probably the inside of my nose. It was red, though, definitely red. And scary.

Which brings me to the photo up top, which ties in nicely with the nose subject, as you can see right up it. Thanks to Xazmin of This Is The Year for being such a stickler for rules and leaving me with a loop-hole so that I may appear here, as per the "keep it real" tag, in a photo-taken-right-away-at-this-very-moment-as-you-read-it-here with NO "fixing" yourself up first. Poor Sprinkles begged me to make it look like she had at least applied make-up today. I will actually cheat now ('cause the photo-shop clown doesn't count as cheating) and not pass this horrid thing forward. You may all thank me in the comment section.

**Thursday's Big Thing Is Coming....!**

12 comments:

Xazmin said...

No Fair! Loved the nose hair clipper story though!

Xazmin

Sugar Boogers & Tantrums said...

LOL!! I got my hubby one for Christmas and he truely uses it!! LOL! Have a great week

Barely Domestic Mama said...

Hilarious! I am now horrified of those nose hair clippers. Eck!

Jenny said...

What? I actually wear spandex when I ride my bike. It has a great diaper to cushion the hiney.

Sassy Britches said...

Accckkk! I'm shaking my head back and forth like a puppy dog and trying not to sneeze! That description made it too REAL! Eeeek!

Snarky A. said...

Ha ha, I can't believe you did that! :)
My condolences to your nose. I hope it does not spur an increased nose-hair growth...

Grand Pooba said...

Oh woman, you crack me up! Please, put down the buzzing thing already! Now you need to tell your hubby to try it!

Kelly Deneen said...

LOL!!! You are too funny! My husband uses one of those. *snerk*

Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier today!

Kathy B! said...

Holy cow! You're lucky it didn't tunnel up into your brain!

Ronnica said...

I look about like that when I'm sitting around reading blogs too...

Yaya said...

Oh ouch! My nose hurts!

Jen said...

can I just you are too funny!! My hubby has one too and he uses it!! I watch him use it and just cringe!! I can't image how it feels!! I to tell him I don't need it because of course I don't have NOSE HAIRS!! TOO funny!!