Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Thursday, April 16

Running with Pants

Some lessons should have been learned in preschool, like 'don't run while your putting on your pants.' Even if you are being chased by a puppy wild beast and an equally frightening young boy wilder beast. If you do, you might only have one leg half in those pants before you lose your balance and, trying not to make pancakes out of said wild beasts, pop a knee out of place and land one (butt) cheek first onto the hardwood floor, then proceed to cry out in agony for years days seconds while one ungrateful furry creature eats your face and the other little beastie pretends to scratch and claw and even lick your back because he wants to be a puppy big beast, too. And your husband might sit in his chair, all the while pretending not to notice that anyone is even in the room. Your left butt cheek might end up looking like a super-sized blueberry.

A week and a half later, you might finally be able to bend your knee enough to go back to your prepaid yoga class, but the Universe will laugh... as an entire pot of fresh, scalding coffee is dumped on your legs, and you won't be able to put on any pants at all.
And that's the day the meter reader will peer through the sliding glass doors as you go about your business, sans pants.

I might be speaking from experience.

83 comments:

Kim said...

Ouch! I guess you'll have to put off wearing a thong bikini by the pool for a bit! :0)

Snarky A. said...

People always say "Don't run with scissors", but never is there warning to "Not run with pants", but I think you make a great case for including that in the future. Sorry you're hurt, but at least you manage to laugh at the misery. Or, if you are not laughing, make us laugh :D

Feel better!
<3

Grand Pooba said...

OH dear, you never cease to entertain!

(That's all I'm saying today. No wierd stalker comments here, nope, not at all)

H F W said...

It's not funny that you are in pain ... but in about, oh, two weeks, when you're not in pain anymore, I will then tell you how hard I laughed as I read about your mishaps.
Until then, I stick with my first thought: it's soo not funny you're in pain.
:)

RamblingMother said...

ouch! Hope that happened to someone else and you were just kind enough to blog it for them, heh.

Barely Domestic Mama said...

Oh my goodness. I take it Grace is not your middle name. :)

Jingle said...

Here: Have some chocolate. You need it. ANd maybe a martini. Better yet...let's try a chocolate martini.

Renee said...

Hmmm. I am thinking that sharp kitchen objects are not a good idea. You poor thing! And the hubby didn't even help!

Ann's Rants said...

OUCH. That sounds really painful...especially the coffee.

Gibby said...

Yikes, that is totally something that would happen to me. Considering my dog is 80 lbs and VERY loving, I would probably still be down on the floor, trapped by a hairy beast and perhaps a kid who was just seeing what mommy was doing this time.

Yaya said...

Oh. My. Gosh! I love this story!

joanofalltrades said...

WTF! I was scared about the title because I thought it was another story about your "you know". Anyway, what is with you and pants? Maybe you should wear bodysuits or onesies. LOL! No really, I hope you are okay. That sounded like quite the fiasco. And hubs...shame on him. Mine would have probably done the same thing :)

Sassy Britches said...

Yay for naked yoga! And THAT might get your husband to sit up and take notice! So, you see, every cloud has a silver lining. :P

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Great post! You had me laughing out loud...mostly because I could so relate unfortunately (well, until the pot of hot coffee...)!

Molly said...

Oh my word. I don't know if I should feel bad for you laugh hysterically at you. Hope you are all better now!

Michelle said...

Oh my goodness...no you're not!

In vitro stinks, doesnt it. (In regards to your comment the other day...random, I know. Just wanted to tell you.)

Xazmin said...

I am sooo sorry! But thanks for making a funny post out of it for me to smile at!

I hope you are feeling better today!

Xazmin

PetalsYoga said...

I think I actually snorted at the "super sized blueberry" part of this post. You CRACK ME UP! Hope you are feeling much better now and yoga class helps you with your balance! ;-)

Bee and Rose said...

Ouchy ouch ouch! I feel your pain...Hope you are on the mend:)

Christie-A Work In Progress said...

I am sorry but I was laughing hysterically at this! I hope you are feeling a little better.

Megan said...

Owie, owie, owie!!! That is just not right! I hope the burns heal quickly and the Universe decides to be kind to you!

Holly said...

Wow! I have similar issues.

Holly

Cairo Typ0 said...

Happy SITS day. :)

As someone who has been called less than graceful i totally empathize with this post. LOL hehe

gaelikaa said...

It's surprising how many people (self included) are devoid of common sense!

Great post. Happy SITS day.

gaelikaasdiary.blogspot.com

Fruitful Vine2 said...

OMGoodness. That would be totally awkward. I love the way you write - makes me laugh.

One Cluttered Brain said...

OWIE! Quite the sight. LOL! hope the bruise eventually went away.

Crystalin Dunn said...

Ummmm, so the comment I left about farting and seeing someone trip? Really true now!!!! You so rock!

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

OUCH! How could your husband just ignore all that? Running with your pants not fully on is a big mistake! Hope your knee is okay no.

Congrats on your SITS day!

Elizabeth a.k.a. Type A Mommy said...

Whoa, ouch! For what it's worth, I had a really bad relationship with my baby gate for a long time - I continually tripped over it every time I tried to cross it!

Mindi @ B.A. Bookworm said...

Ow, that hurt! Even reading about it hurt. I hope that today is a much better day, with your SITS feature goin' on it should be a great day!

Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish said...

Oh we must have been separated at birth! I am so clumsy! I actually got a button from a friend of mine that says "I fall down a lot when I run".

Thanks for the giggle and Happy SITS day!

singedwingangel said...

Ok have you ever read the story about the man who was working on his bike in the home dining room becaus of bad weather adn the bike fell on him leading to a series of unfortunate events that include him being blown off the commode thanks to his wife clening up spilled gas with paper towels...and putting them in the potty without flushing. Yeha when Ihave more time I will tell ya about it.. I think you can relate to his pain lol

Christina said...

Oh, wow... yeah, I've had those days! Made me laugh in commiseration. :-)

Kat @ measuring my life in l-o-v-e said...

Hopefully you're laughing about this one now.

Christine said...

The big huge difference between running while putting on pants, while your young vs. old is:

It will FOR SURE leave a mark! And it takes a lot longer before you pick yourself up and start running again!

I guess that's the breaks. :D

Heather of the EO said...

OH NOOOOO! (and really funny)

Jenn said...

I actually cringed when I read your post. Lesson learned thank you!

Creative Junkie said...

That entire post is filled with OMG moments - I'm not sure which is the worst!

Kim @ Cheap Chic Home said...

Aww, you're funny! Most of us try to blot these incidents out of our brains...

Melanie said...

Oh goodness. Well, at least the beasts didn't run outside where the neighbors could see you!

Andi said...

OMG I can totally picture me doing the same!

Lynsey said...

Oh how funny!! (and awful for whoever it happened to *wink*)

Michelle said...

WOW. That's all I can say.

Kristin said...

Very funny...love your writing style. Happy SITS day!

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

I've answered the door for a workman sans bra before, but never sans pants. You go girl!

Rook No. 17 said...

Argh! You know you're a talented writer when you can turn your personal pain and embarassment and make it super flippin' hilarious to read about! You rock!

Date Girl said...

You crack me up! I fall down a lot too. Glad to know it's not just me! :-)

Happy Sits day!

Sherri @ Luv a Bargain said...

Ouchy...that had to hurt.

Heather said...

Oh the humanity!

But really. Haven't we all been there? ....maybe not.

Happy SITS day!

Brandi said...

Oh dear. I can totally sympathize. I'm horribly clumsy too.

K a b l o o e y said...

OK, you did it. Now I'm following. Great post! And my four year old just did this yesterday and I had to give her the little "don't run with pants around your ankles" lecture. But then, she IS 4.

Zeemaid said...

*LOL* what a visual. you poor thing you. Great theme you got going on there. ;)

Happy feature SITS day!

Kristy said...

well then you have def had some bad days. i could add several of my own lol

Mimi said...

Sound like the time I jumped out of bed to because I heard a noise & slipped and fell in warm cat vomit! The cat vomiting turned out to be the source of the noise to begin with!

lady lex said...

That's so funny! You sound like a lot of fun to be around. I'm clumsy as well and definitely feel your blueberry pain. ha ha.

Cathy said...

If it was my husband, he wouldn't have ignored me, he would have laughed his head off and brought it back up for years to come.

roadrunner201 said...

Doesn't it suck when one does not grow out of adolescent awkwardness?! I once ran into a paper towel dispenser in front of every student in the 6th grade class I was teaching. I also fell out of my shoe in the cafeteria when the 8th graders were having lunch, and tripped over nothing while trying to step around a box in my classroom. Once again, in front of all the kids!

Happy SITS day!

Kristin @ Meanbean said...

Good Lord, you poor thing! I often believe these things are meant to happen in front of others. Still don't know why, but I have stuff like that happen, and it's never, ever when I'm blissfully alone so the masses can stay ignorant.

Lindsay Rudolph said...

Ooooo! That sounds like a good one. I can totally relate. When is my body without a bruise?...Never!

Have a fabulous, fall-free day!

Kim said...

Oh my God! Embarassing! I hope you've gotten a handle on those wild beasts! And why didn't anyone teach your peeping tom meter reader that it's impolite to glance in other peoples windows?! :P Maybe he liked what he saw and you got a discount on electricity that month?

AmericanTribal said...

Ouch!

I run into walls a lot, my peripheral vision is scary. My husband laughs at me... what a jerk :P

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

YIKES!

So sorry! That sucks!

Marie said...

We have all been there before. ;)

Jen said...

I totally get this post. I too am very clumsy. I can't tell you how many times I have sprained my ankle.

Pepper said...

Wow, very bad luck. Perfect post for Friday the 13th SITs Day! LOL

Robin said...

Ha ha!! I relate to this SO MUCH! This IS my life! I am ridiculously clumsy AND unlucky. I didn't believe in bad luck until I took a long hard look in the mirror and realized..I was just just that!! lol Thanks for sharing!

-Robin

Momnerd said...

Oh my heck! I love it! I need to start sharing my embarrassing moments....

Jane said...

Oh my gosh! Thank you for sharing and letting us all have a laugh. I bet it wasn't very funny for you at the time.

alex Fitzpatrick aka Ma What's 4 Dinner said...

Um...call the gas co and get the meter reader fired! :) Oh, wait, is he cute?

Happy Sits!

Young Wife said...

Thank you for the laugh. I can totally relate. The story of my knee injury was not nearly so entertaining. I just fell. :)

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

Yowzers! well look at it this way...you made one meter reader's day. Just ask my husband fro experience.

Anali said...

OMG! You are hilarious! : )

sweetjeanette said...

ROFL! (c'mon, you'd laugh initially at your mother if that happened to her!)

Happy SITS day!

African American Mom said...

Ha Ha! Even funnier!

Angelia Sims said...

OMG! I think I read about this on missed connections Craigslist.

It went something like:

I saw you through the sliding glass doors, I know you saw me too.

I liked your outfit. I don't know if your married but ghurrrrl I got some pants you can get into!

The Meter Man

HA.

Romy said...

I just joined SITS today and yours is the first blog I read. You have a fun style and a great sense of humor!

Micha said...

Ouch. The knee popping is no fun at all. That is something that would happen to me in a heartbeat. Congrats on your SITSday.

When did I become my Mom said...

Oh you poor thing... I think knee pain ranks up there, right after labour...

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

Wow - I hurt just reading your post! I've done similar things and I'm bruised for weeks and weeks from any clumsy stuff that happens to me. I hate it. Enjoy your SITS day!

Laura said...

I too am a bit clutzy, so I feel your pain. Very funny story, made me lol. Your blog is very entertaining, adding it to my bookmarks! Happy SITS day!

Chelle said...

I cannot stop laughing from your post label! Haha!

Unknown Mami said...

Maybe it's payback for the Vincent incident.

Caroline said...

cute story! :)