Running with Pants

Some lessons should have been learned in preschool, like 'don't run while your putting on your pants.' Even if you are being chased by a puppy wild beast and an equally frightening young boy wilder beast. If you do, you might only have one leg half in those pants before you lose your balance and, trying not to make pancakes out of said wild beasts, pop a knee out of place and land one (butt) cheek first onto the hardwood floor, then proceed to cry out in agony for years days seconds while one ungrateful furry creature eats your face and the other little beastie pretends to scratch and claw and even lick your back because he wants to be a puppy big beast, too. And your husband might sit in his chair, all the while pretending not to notice that anyone is even in the room. Your left butt cheek might end up looking like a super-sized blueberry.

A week and a half later, you might finally be able to bend your knee enough to go back to your prepaid yoga class, but the Universe will laugh... as an entire pot of fresh, scalding coffee is dumped on your legs, and you won't be able to put on any pants at all.

And that's the day the meter reader will peer through the sliding glass doors as you go about your business, sans pants.

I might be speaking from experience.