Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Friday, August 21

My husband is an evil genius.


Dear Con Artist Husband,

When you announced your plans to take Monsoon away for the weekend, I was more delighted than should be allowed at the prospect of having an entire weekend of nothing so that I could spend endless hours writing away. Yes, I was happy to do everything all week so that you would have every available moment to finish all your homework and be able to leave me to myself. I might have even sung your praises.

When Monsoon got sick as you packed everything up, I'm pretty sure you did it on purpose. Somehow. Because then you suddenly had plenty of homework to keep yourself busy while I cared for sick boy, who was obviously more whiny grouchy needy than regular boy. All weekend. In fact, I know you had something to do with it because miraculously, sick boy was once again regular boy the day after you were supposed to return home. Suspicious, no?

Today, you had way too much homework to do and couldn't go with us to get Monsoon's picture taken. Fine, I understand, school comes first. Sure, you could have planned ahead, but whatever.... You went out last night with friends, but you have a huge load and it's end of quarter, you've been hitting the books hard, you deserves to wind down a bit. Fine. Except... when our (unexpectedly horrendous) photo appointment is half over, I call you to whine vent inform you that I'm pulling out my hair. You do not answer. You text me that you are out golfing with your buddies and can't talk on the phone. Hmph!

Tell me, dear husband, how can I get in on this con and who can we mark?

With gripes and awe,

The nearly bald lady across the living room.

9 comments:

Funny in my mind said...

weasel!
Doesn't it always happen? Hope you get some time to yourself soon- hold that golf game over his head.

Scary Mommy said...

Sigh. Husbands can be so incredibly annoying!!

Corinne said...

I think the con artist always comes out in husbands when the going gets annoying... I know it does around here anyway!

Amy said...

I can understand. My husband works all of the time. I am the SAHM and do my job. But on the weekends I want to do things. But no we spend time inside and when I want to go out. My little one always have to come. My husband it there loading her in the car. Oh well. I guess being a Mom is the full time job. I hope we do not go bald together.

Call Me Cate said...

Oh no he didn't... The rest of it I probably could've been okay with but the golf. I would've punched him in the face for sure when I saw him next.

carma said...

He's got a pretty sweet deal going there; you must figure out how to get in on it :D

Xazmin said...

Men! I swear they are BORN to shirk parental responsibility!

Christie-The ChatterBox said...

Um...wait...excuse me but are we married to the same person?

Sassy Britches said...

Two words: poop (and) fan.