Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Thursday, January 28

Random interesting

Random interesting thing I did in my twenties... follow my husband's flag football team to whOrlando for a championship tournament.

I flashed my hoo-ha, felt another woman's boobs, and a few of the players tried to purchase me.

In fairness to my husband's friends, our hotel was also a whorehouse. (Note: never trust Expedia's star rating system). The group of guys had been drinking heavily and I was wearing heels and walking in from the car at night by myself. That just screams hooker, right?

I had recently lost enough weight to look sexy (in my head) in a zebra bikini I'd been hanging onto for ages. Too bad it wasn't quite my size anymore. (Note: if your bikini bottom is too big, it's likely to hang).

Someone's girlfriend has just gotten a boob job. She wore bandaids to keep her nipples from poking out of her tank top. Because you know, hers were perkier withOUT a bra than mine were with a push-up.


Grand Pooba said...

Wow, I'm sad I didn't know you in your twenties, we could have had some good times!

I left you a surprise over on my blog!

Eva Gallant said...

You were a wild thing!

j said...

wow! you had enough adventure for the both of us. thanks for the laugh.

Working Mommy said...

Are you my twin?!?!


Debbie said...

Wow. I certainly feel like I know you a lot better after this post!

Holly Ann said...

a wild child... sounds like you had a GOOD time...

what is best about this is that you don't look back on it and feel ashamed... i like that... :-)