Softball. Again. Are you kidding me?

My husband the softball player. He hasn't played in 2 years, 4 months and 10 days. It's like an addiction from which a guy never actually recovers.

For over a decade, he missed family functions; we cut vacation trips short; I spent entire weekends on metal bleachers, eating hot dogs for three meals a day and trying to ignore the rancid smell of the only 2 port-o-pots provided for all of 582+ over-ripe men to share. And that was the normal part.

Skipping my sister's wedding? Copping out of parental duties 2 mere days after bringing Monsoon home from the hospital? Dropping me at our best friends' wedding and never coming back so that the BRIDE had to take me home? Telling me I just don't understand about loyalty? Team loyalty, that is. Those things crossed a line.

So he quit, finally, to focus on school and finding a good job (and totally not because I threatened his life). It's been blissful. I love having weekends free all spring/summer/fall. I enjoy doing things with him rather than watching him do things while my butt goes numb.

But now he has this job. It's not a great job. It's not even a good job, but it's a job and we're thankful he has it. It's a big company, though, with lots of room to grow, and quickly.

Plus... PLUS - all the big bosses play softball, and they're all thrilled that he can play on their team.

Lucky us. Now he has to play ball. Guess I'll be getting that bleacher cushion out of storage.

More than you care to know about me

First of all, before I get all into myself (like normal) I want to send a HUGE Happy Birthday out to my brother, affectionately referred to as Oscar in my posts. I won't say his age, but that's only because I don't remember. Which is because I'm forgetting my own age. I'm sure he's older than me by now...
** I am not even trying to fix the weird thing blogger did to my numbers below**
I've been awarded this cute bling by A Cheap Chick. She has an amazing knack for finding free stuff, so visit her to find out what's up for grabs right now in cyber land. Thanks, A Cheap Chick!
(I can't get the award photo to come up, but I'm not making it up, I promise.)

The rules of "Cute's Blogger Award" are to list 10 things about yourself, so in an effort to not bore you all to pieces with bits of me, I'm going to mash this together with...

And EIGHT tag from Funny in my mind. Read all about the escapades she endures as a restaurant owner, mother and wife at In My Mind It's Always Funny. Here are some things (feel free to skim):

8 Things I'm looking forward to:

1. 
   
   Seeing the beach again... any beach.


2. 
   
   Visiting Oscar again, totally not just for the pizza.


3. 
   
   Being finished with my yoga class. I like it, but there are tests. I don't care for tests.


4. 
   
   Completing an actual story. As in I don't have to rewrite it ever again.


5. 
   
   Tomorrow morning, just like every morning, I get to wake up looking into grass-green eyes and hear, "Is it morning, Mommy?"


6. 
   
   Being a famous movie star. That's right, I said it. It's from my list of "to-do's" when I was 13. I should have 4 academy awards by now, too.


7. 
   
   Watching the giant sunflowers grow with Monsoon... the ones we planted last week.


8. 
   
   A Derby party at my grandma's this weekend. It should be fun.

8 Things I wish I could do:

1. 
   
   A real push-up.


2. 
   
   Give Monsoon a sibling.


3. 
   
   Give tons of money to my favorite charities.


4. 
   
   Move south... and take my family.


5. 
   
   Take great photos.


6. 
   
   Run a marathon.


7. 
   
   Walk up stairs without hearing firecracker sounds coming from my knees.


8. 
   
   Get a boob-lift.

8 Shows I watch (alternately titled: 8 things I Tivo and forget about):

1. 
   
   Housewives


2. 
   
   New Adventures of Old Christine.


3. 
   
   Grey's


4. 
   
   WEEDS (well, back when we had cable)


5. 
   
   Big Bang Theory


6. 
   
   How I Met Your Mother


7. 
   
   Ugly Betty


8. 
   
   Two and a Half Men

And a SUPER award from Jen at Following the Footsteps, a blog designing, Nascar watching, Flip-flop gaming blogger who actually titled one post "Hodgepodge." I love that word. Thanks Jen! Miss Environment, or Carrie as you may know her from Life In the Carpool Lane lavished me with a fabulous Earth Friendly award. Visit Carrie for TONS of ideas (many even from her readers) for being green AND to grab this button for your blog.

It's not as much fun as it looks

My husband got a gag gift of electric nose hair clippers for Christmas one year. He got it out of the box and asked if I wanted to try them out. Gross, I don't have nose hair - I'm a lady! ...and if you ever get to the point of having to use that thing in any orifice of your body, we will no longer be cosleeping.
It lay there for days... on our dresser, stuffed hastily back into the box... a few jokes cracked here and there about the vibrating cutter... Every time I passed the thing, I was more intrigued. Getting past the whole "old-man-ear-hair-and-long-freaking-nose-fur" idea, and wondering (much like the electric shaver in 5th grade) how it worked without cutting the tender skin underneath the furry grossness.

Wondering, wondering, wondering... hmmm... is it just like the shaver, which ended up being such a big relief after 2 years of hearing Janet Hopling talk about how it rips the hair out at the root, only to find it didn't even give a close cut? Or more like that innocent-looking car lighter my uncle just haaad to sniff... up close.

Come on, I'm not that weird. You've all experimented with things that should not have ever been invented (ehem... pool-foolery/vomit-flavored jelly beans/spandex...). For the record, I do not have nose hair, nor will I ever admit to any neeern-nnnt-tz-tz-z-z-ttz sound coming from the thing as the poky part tried to escape through my upper nostril. But OH! the blood. It tried to kill me! There was blood everywhere - and by everywhere, I mean all over my... uh, well, probably the inside of my nose. It was red, though, definitely red. And scary.

Which brings me to the photo up top, which ties in nicely with the nose subject, as you can see right up it. Thanks to Xazmin of This Is The Year for being such a stickler for rules and leaving me with a loop-hole so that I may appear here, as per the "keep it real" tag, in a photo-taken-right-away-at-this-very-moment-as-you-read-it-here with NO "fixing" yourself up first. Poor Sprinkles begged me to make it look like she had at least applied make-up today. I will actually cheat now ('cause the photo-shop clown doesn't count as cheating) and not pass this horrid thing forward. You may all thank me in the comment section.

**Thursday's Big Thing Is Coming....!**

April Fool non-post

My friend just called me to relay all the fun April Fool's jokes she played on her husband today, including taping a monkey face to his military I.D. badge and switching his cel phone ring to a fart sound. She directed me promptly to April Fool Zone website which is full of fun prank ideas for April 1st and any other day. Happy pranking!

Ryan Needs:

A fun little google game I found over at Boogers, Screams, Headaches & Dreams and saw again over at Well, Okay Sassy Britches! You type in your name and "needs" after it, then see what pops up! I've been saving this for a day when I don't have anything else, and today is the SITS Spring Fling, so... as much as I hate missing Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays (which you should check out - nothing funnier on the blogosphere), I'm going to have to put it off until tomorrow.

Ryan needs:

• a bra. Yes... well.... I'm not 16 anymore, so these puppies won't hold themselves up.
  
• a little fabulous. Honey, I make my own fabulous! Come on... just a little?
  
• to gain weight or buy new pants. Really? Why... thank you. I like new pants.
  
• to press it. Hmmm.... depends on what "IT" is, I suppose. I do love a mystery.
  
• his a** kicked. Ah honest mistake, I'm no "his." I may, however, need to be kicked on occasion.
  
• to be held hostage. Well... hello stranger! M-Mmm.
  
• answers. Yes, please. (Who hasn't been paying attention around here?)

Brought to You by the Sassy Letter B

I got my letter from Sassy Pants Mommy, who has a very sassy blog - definitely worth visiting right now!

Here’s how it works...Leave me a comment asking for your own letter, and I’ll send you one. Write about ten things you love that begin with your assigned letter, and post it on your blog. You may then take requests for assigned letters from your readers through comments, and so on and so on...

1. Belly dancing. I've never tried it, and I'd probably be awful (then we might call it Bumbling Belly dancing), but it looks like such a fun way to humiliate myself.
2. Broken Bank Machines - I hear they just spit out extra money at you!
3. Betty's Braces - they're so ugly, I just love to hate them.
4. Butter, Beaten... on a spoon, dipped in sugar.
5. Baby Bums. Tell me there's anything cuter!
6. Big Burly Blankets, all year long because hubby likes it "cool" (a.k.a. frozen).
7. Bare feet on Beaches. Except for the jellyfish stings and crab bites (is it a bite when it comes from a claw?).
8. Bupropion. If you know what it is, you know what I mean... unless you are my dear friend Chiplet, who tried to run over her husband with a car.
9. Belgian chocolates. Go here for more on these.
10. Bloggy Buddies' Beautiful Banners. Some of them are so creative and unique. I've been trying to make a really nice one for my blog, but it isn't working out just so.

Thursday's Things

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Welcome to the first ever edition of: THURSDAY'S THINGS! Anyone can participate by posting about any THING, be it a favorite, a new discovery, something you can't live without or something you despise. You can include descriptions, photos, reasons it's great (or NOT great!) and/or anything else you can think of. Share your THINGS!

The category of my first Thursday's Things post is Child-Friendly Family Games. **YOUR post does NOT have to match my theme, so go on and share anyTHING.**



1.)My First UNO. They come in various styles (ours feature characters from "Where The Wild Things Are"). The game is suited for children 3+ and is simplified with matching pics along with each number, so kids can learn to recognize numerals but can play even before they do.

BONUS: It's actually fun for us, too.

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EXTRA: The little "Game Wright" Card Holder pictured is great for little hands. It works well for kids who understand the games they are playing and don't need you to tell them what cards to play. It lets them learn to think critically and make their own decisions. **Found the game and card holder at Target**

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2.) HULLABALOO from Cranium. Think Twister for kids, but less twisting. A voice in the speaker gives commands like, "jump to a triangle" or "hop to an animal" while playing silly music. There are two settings, beginner and advanced. Box says for ages 4+, but Monsoon is 3 and plays with us just fine. Each session is only a couple minutes long, but you can play over and over again depending on how much time you've got... or energy! *

3.) CARIBOO. Again, you just can't go wrong with Cranium for putting learning and fun together. There are beginner (shown) and advanced level cards, great for younger preschoolers to kindergartners and even fun for parents. Under each "door" is a space where one of six balls might be hiding. Use a key to open doors, depending on the color/shape/number/letter prompt from the draw pile. When all the treasure balls are collected, the treasure chest opens up.

Participate in THURSDAY'S THINGS!

Talk about food, games, household supplies, restaurants, appliances, electronics, stores, magazines... anyTHING! Leave the link to your Thursday's Things post on Mr. Linky (hope it works - it's my first time) and leave a comment. Thanks!

100 Things

Got this game from Megan over at INfertile Myrtle. Anyone can play along, just BOLD the things you have done.



1. Started your own blog.

2. Slept under the stars.

3. Played in a band.

4. Visited Hawaii.

5. Watched a meteor shower.

6. Given more than you can afford to charity.

7. Been to Disneyland.

8. Climbed a mountain.

9. Held a praying mantis.

10. Sang a solo.

11. Bungee jumped.

12. Visited Paris.

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.

15. Adopted a child.

16. Had food poisoning.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.

18. Grown your own vegetables.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.

20. Slept on an overnight train.

21. Had a pillow fight.

22. Hitch hiked.

23. Taken a sick day when you're not sick.

24. Built a snow fort.

25. Held a lamb.

26. Gone skinny dipping.

27. Run a marathon.

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.

29. Seen a total eclipse.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.

31. Hit a home run.

32. Been on a cruise.

33. Seen Niagra Falls in person.

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.

35. Seen and Amish community.

36. Taught yourself a new language.

37. Had enough money to truly be satisfied.

38. Seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person.

39. Gone rock climbing.

40. Seen Michelangelo's David.

41. Sung karaoke.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.

44. Visited Africa.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.

46. Been transported in an ambulance

.47. Had your portrait painted.

48. Gone deep sea fishing.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.

52. Kissed in the rain.

53. Played in the mud.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater.

55. Been in a movie.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China.

57. Started a business.

58. Taken a martial arts class.

59. Visited Russia.

60. Served in a soup kitchen.

61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.

62. Gone whale watching.

63. Gotten flowers for no reason.

64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma.

65. Gone sky diving.

66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp.

67. Bounced a check.

68. Flown in a helicopter.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.

71. Eaten caviar.

72. Pieced a quilt.

73. Stood in Times Square.

74. Toured the Everglades.

75. Been fired from a job.

76. Seen the changing of the guards in London.

77. Broken a bone.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.

80. Published a book.

81. Been to the Vatican.

82. Bought a brand new car.

83. Walked in Jerusalem.

84. Had your picture in the paper.

85. Read the entire Bible.

86. Visited the White House.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. (Um.. ewww.)

88. Had Chicken pox.

89. Saved someone's life.

90. Sat on a jury.

91. Met someone famous.

92. Joined a book club.

93. Lost a loved one.

94. Had a baby.

95. Seen the Alamo in person.

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.

97. Been involved in a lawsuit.

98. Owned a cell phone.

99. Been stung by a bee.

100. Read an entire book in one day.

To Tell The Truth... And Not.

This is a fun little game in which I give you 9 true things about me and one that is a lie. Guess which is the lie:

1. I got married when I was nineteen to the same man I'm married to now.
2. Monsoon was a frozen embryo for a year and a half before I got pregnant with him.
3. I once punched a guy, knocking him to the ground.
4. I have a secret blog about my in-laws.
5. The last time I peed my pants, I was 14 years old.
6. When I gave birth to my son, I almost bled to death.
7. I got suspended in high school for smoking on the roof of the school.
8. I am under 5 ft tall, and I once weighed over 200 pounds.
9. I have not gone one single day without chocolate since junior high.
10. My niece and nephew are named after types of fairytale creatures.

I'm not nearly as interesting as some of the other participants of this game, but feel free to guess which of these is the LIE! I'll post the whole truth later this week.