Kidlit Query Contest

I know some of you out there are writers, so if you have any finished manuscripts in the young adult, middle grade or picture book category, pick out your best and enter your query in Kidlit.com's query contest. It ends this Saturday, Oct 31st.

Even if you aren't quite ready to query, I recommend hitting up agent Mary Kole's site for a slew of helpful information, no matter what type of writing you do. Her blog is welcoming and full of insight.

Warning: you might be there for hours without realizing how much time has passed and suddenly find yourself still in pajamas when you should be starting dinner. It didn't happen to me, of course - I'm always on top of things like time. And pajamas.

Friendship & Scribbles: Awards

Aww, thanks guys!

I received the Friendship award from The Cookie Girl, who not only shares tasty recipes in her Cookie of the Week Club (check out her button on my sidebar) but is such a sweet cookie herself. Thank you, Cookie Girl!

Melissa B. of the Scholastic Scribe has bestowed upon me... the coveted Scribbler award. I've copied and pasted the rules from Mrs. Scribe so as not to break them, since she asked so kindly (and I'm a little afraid):

"Don't Break The Chain, y'all. Follow the rules, if you please, and pass this sucker along.-Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.-Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award. Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.-Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we'll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor! -Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog."

I decided to award bloggers who had not yet received any award from me. Here are the lovely Scribes I choose:

H F W of The Scoop On Poop And Other Mama Dramas; seriously humorous "mama drama"

Jeannie from Jeannie's Happy World; go here for happiness and fun cards.

Kim at The UnGourmet; she just celebrated her 100th post. "Grub and chit-chat" - what else do you need?

Julia, The Apron Goddess; lovely aprons, beautiful posts and plenty of giveaways.

Alicia and her Yaya Stuff; her journey through infertility is heart wrenching, but inspiring.

Winners!

Thank you to everyone who came out to celebrate my 100th post last week! Let me tell you, I've gotten a bit smarter since my last giveaway fiasco and this morning, while I might be running behind, my hand is not cramped and I have no colorful strips of paper for Monsoon to paste or for Sprinkles to eat. So. No more R.A.Stupid. At least for the time being.. we'll probably be back there tomorrow (it will be Tuesday, after all).

The 1st place winner of this lovely gift basket:

Is randomly generated....

Number 10, and seriously? Seriously! It's Donnetta of Life In the Fast Lane! Her kids pull some hilarious stunts - I'm still laughing at what her Baby Chicklet thinks about boys.

And the 2nd place winner of my lovely Mantle Photo along with a tiny surprise...

Is randomly generated...

Number 4, AKA The Cookie Girl of Cookie Girl Creations, who keeps me up to date on all the latest cookie trends. If you like cookies, you'll love her cookie of the week club.

AND....

Thank you to everyone who helped to make the kick-off to Chick Chat a success.

The two $50 gift certificates to Lisa Leonard Designs will be going to...

1. Yaya, the fabulous orange nanny, from Yaya Stuff - she has talking dogs, so pop over to her site for their occasional stand-up act. She's also spreading the word and lending support to others dealing with infertility, miscarriage, and adoption.


2. Tonya from Finding My Peace in this World - I love her "Grace In Small Things" posts, which remind me to enjoy every little bit of goodness in the day.
   

Plus (I can hardly believe it) Donnetta (I'm going to start calling her the Golden One), from Life in the Fast Lane, will be proudly wearing the Shhh...Mommy's Blogging tee-shirt from Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha.

Congratulations to all the winners! A special congratulations to all the losers, as well, because you're also winners in a sense - you have been here to see ME. Bahahaha..... ha..hhhe..?..ehem.

Chick Chat

What is it that girls talk about? The answer may very well be absolutely everything. Topics frequently range from husbands, to kids, to friends, to family, to politics, to fashion, to celebrities. Nothing is sacred.
This same “anything goes” approach also seems to apply to the blog world. Blogging is a means that allows women to declare to the world what they are going through and to find others in a similar situation.
However, what if we could take the connections that we have formed with one another as bloggers one step farther? What if we could finally see and hear the people behind the posts that we read?
That’s where Chick Chat comes in. Chick Chat is a semimonthly post where the ladies from the Three Bay B Chicks and Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha will film themselves chatting on a particular topic. To make things more interesting, we will be linking to three different blogs who have also filmed their own video segment in response to our conversation.
We kick-off our video series today with a discussion on the blog world. The Three Bay B Chicks, Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha, Pooba, Optimistic Cynicism, and The World According to Me will be sharing everything on their mind about the blogosphere.
So have some fun and get clicking. Each site has a unique video, so you will have to visit all five blogs to hear and see what these ladies have to say.

It's been so long since I was on the receiving end of a moving picture, I had almost forgotten how freaked it makes me. Instead of putting fruitless effort into being normal, we just went for all-out... something else entirely.To help with this little problem, Monsoon worked up a good sweat applying purple make-up with all seriousness until finally..."There! You yook yike a cyown, Mommy!" He figured out (when I snort-laughed snot onto his forehead) that "clown" wasn't really the look I was going for. "Oh, just teasing, Mommy. You yook beautiful. I'm almost done wiff your appoimpment." Also, it's about time you all know how I hate to be seen without my feather boa. Add that to pink cheetah pajamas and forgetting to do anything with my perma-ponytail, and I'm glad it's dark in that screen.

Now it’s your turn. Want to turn the camera on yourself and participate in an upcoming Chick Chat? Let us know by sending an e-mail to contactchickchat@gmail.com. We are looking for both participants and topic suggestions. Our plan is to rotate the participation not only among ourselves, but also among all our friends in the blogosphere. We want to hear what everyone has to say.
We’d also like to thank the wonderful sites that linked to us today as part of the Chick Chat kick-off and encourage you to take a moment to visit these bloggers. Their tales, tips, humor, and support are something we should all aspire to…

Scary Mommy * I Need a Martini Mom * Suburb Sanity * Scribbit * A Nut In a Nutshell * SITS

Tell Them What You Have To Say

If anyone has noticed my references to "Thursday's Big Thing" this week, you might be wondering about my obsession with that day. Or maybe you think I'm crazy (rightfully so - but that happened long ago). Joan of All Trades, for instance, thinks I've been eluding to something dirty, but that's just how her mind works.

Actually, I'm excited to announce the kick-off of....

Blogging is a funny thing. You can get to know everything in the world about a person, but never see their face or hear their voice.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could somehow change that? Even for only a little while?

The Three Bay B Chicks and Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha will be kicking off a video series known as Chick Chat this Thursday, April 9. Twice a month, they will post a clip of themselves chatting on a particular topic, as well as link to a few bloggers who respond to what they have to say in their own video.

Interested? Swing by the following blogs tomorrow and see what we are talking about:

Three Bay B Chicks

Hot Chocolate Caramel Mocha

Pooba

The World According to Me

Optimistic Cynicism

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Chick Chat participants will change regularly, so be sure to let them know if you might like to join in the fun. They want to hear what all of us have to say.

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SO! I'm not above begging, but it isn't my favorite thing, so maybe flip back here tomorrow and tell me what you think on the topic of the day. Or perhaps I could bribe you with a *guest* appearance of my most recent makeover, which you are forbidden to mention in comments unless you want to tell me how radiant and glowing I've become. Or giveaways - would you come back for giveaways? There will be plenty.

TAT: "Hello mother? There's this house..."

It's Tuuuuuuesday, which means Totally Awkward Tuesdays from Tova Darling! Go there. Just do it - you will laugh.

When I was 16 and a recently licensed driver-wannabe, my parents, in their one foolish moment, decided I could drive - for the first time ever - on my own. To a basketball game, in my cheerleading uniform. In a January ice storm.

We lived on top of a hill and so, when I pulled the old 6-cylinder '89 Olds tank onto the road, pushing on the gas pedal as I would on any regular day, I seemed to make it down the hill in record time. Only the bottom of the hill was a curved bridge with a house at the other end.

Hello bridge curve... hello ice... hello spinning car and not-the-road. Hello screaming in my head, hello life before my eyes... hello porch. Goodbye porch. Hello stranger's living room.

There was no one home, and I was fine, so I ran across the street to call my parents. "Um, mom? Uhh... I hit a house." An hour or so later, Olds still sitting pretty in through the front door wall, police cruiser spilling red and blue over the snowy yard... a van pulls in. Hello, homeowners.

Irony of all ironies: about 5 years ago, I ran off the road in yet another snowstorm. My car wouldn't move out of the ditch, but a lovely man stopped to pick us (that would be me and The Fabulous Miss Wiener) up. Who is this lovely man, you ask? Why, the very same man who lived in the house that I hit a decade earlier. Yes, he laughed... awkwardly.

*note: we live in a small town - so small that there is no concern about getting into a car with a complete stranger on a snowy Sunday morning in your church clothes. There's a good possibility you actually know the stranger by 6 degrees of some sort. See? It's true!

An Introduction, of sorts...

• Welcome Ultimate Blog Party-goers from 5 Minutes for Mom
  
  In the spirit of springtime, new bloggy friends, the UBP '09 and - eh, forget it, I just want to talk about myself. Here is a short introduction list of things pertaining to me and my blog, for all of you who have spare time and don't want to spend it cleaning your house
  
• The name of this page is what it is because I have a knack for kicking dead horses - but they never do get back up and walk again, so I'm trying my hand at laughing them off instead. (What? It still doesn't make sense? Huh...).


• I understand that most of you, as dirty as your houses may be, have other blogs to read. Aside from this one, I to keep my posts fun-sized.


• If you ever see something here that sounds mean, it wasn't meant to be read that way. Unless it's about my in-laws.


• I'm thinking about taking Sundays off from the blogsophere, washing a dish or saying hello to my husband... who knows what could happen.


• Cate wondered at one point what to call me (Ryan? Ashley? It's too many words!). My Blockbuster card says Rashley. Anything but that will be fine.


• If a post looks long, remember that it's narrow and the font size is "LARGE" so everyone can read it easily and move about the blogosphere in a jiffy. I don't want to scare anyone off... and into doing laundry or anything. And yes, I might be begging a little bit... please read my blog! Please! Read this! Paleeease...! Pathetic, aren't I?

Welcome new friends from SITS and 5M4M, hope you made it down this far - I appreciate all the time you spent staring into my space. Go check out the Ultimate Blog Party '09 to find more blogs and enter to win cool prizes like one of several $50 Target GCs from Shoot-Me-Now, Agoosa or : Beginner Baby Blog. And if you're really into putting off those dishes, here are some of my bloggy friend's favorite posts:

• Pea'd Down Her Leg - some dinner-time humor.
• Monsoon: On God - My son has some questions.
• Bubbles - a silly photo
• The Shot - a reader favorite for those of you who enjoy ultimate humiliation stories. Not for the easily embarrassed.

SWS: Breathe. ? Okay.

Update: "Made it: Number 232 of 405"

"I hurt everywhere, but I ran."

Six Word Saturday!

*Visit Cate for more short & sweetness

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"5K Today. Updates Pending Lung Function."

Sunny-Side-Up

Tiffany over at The R Family Diaries is hosting an optimism contest today, so I've been twiddling ideas in my head all week, looking for things that might be humorously (or cynically, if you will) optimistic. What I finally posted about isn't really funny and is a little sappy, which isn't my usual thing.

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My husband grew up "mayonnaise sandwich for dinner" poor - sometimes without the bread, and that's only if you got to it before the jar was empty.

Optimism was never part of his vocabulary. His high school "counselor" even told him not to worry about college, that "it just isn't for you" when Hubby inquired about applications. (Yes I am serious!). That was pretty much my husband's attitude - he just wasn't good enough to do what he wanted to do, so he settled for a "no brains required" existence.
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At the end of '07, he lost his miserable job (he hated it there, but it paid all our bills). Scary, yes - but it was just the kick in the groin he needed. He left that crappy place he hated and marched straight over (okay, he meandered over, nervous and insecure all the way down to his tippie toes) to the nearest college and signed up for classes. The first couple quarters were rough - heck, they were so awful he ended up changing his major. But he had finally FINALLY figured out the key: he was the only person putting limits on his life! So he kept at it. This summer, he will graduate in a field he loves. Oh, the power of Positive thinking!
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This story is one that I felt suited the message Fishful Thinking is putting across. It doesn't matter who you are or where you're going, a sunny-side-up attitude will help you get there

**To enter, click on over to the CONTEST to vote (for me if you like this).**
***Click the FISH to see how you can inspire optimism in kids***

Fx4: Monsoon's first Easter

Go party at Candid Carrie's Friday Foto Finish Fiesta! There are tons more phun photos to see!

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Hanging with my Dad.

He was just learning to walk. This is one of my favorite chunky baby pictures.

Thursday's Things: Worms, Roses and Lemonade

Sour

Sprinkles has round worms, which can apparently be transferred to people... and cause lots of nasty things. Gross, eh? Yay for inspecting poo in our near future.

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Sweet

Hubby brought home a box of one dozen roses, which was so very nice. Monsoon was confused, though. "Whoa! Thanks Daddy for bringing me flowers!" I'm sure they were for me. Yes. Yes, I'm sure.

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Two blogging beauties have bestowed upon me a sweet-n-sour award this week. New friend SandySmile at A Groovy Kind of Life and old friend Lesha at The Lost Burp Clothe think I show great attitude and gratitude, so thank you Lesha and SandySmile for The Lemonade Award and the When Life Hands You Lemons award. You are both fantastic.

Instead of passing this on, I really want to encourage everyone to visit Lesha and SandySmile, who both demonstrate great attitude and gratitude (which is why they got the award in the first place, of course) and they deserve some extra special comment love!

TAT: Elaine Me

It's time for Tova Darling's Totally Awkward Tuesdays! Anyone who wishes to relive and share personal (or second-hand) humiliation, head over there and check it out.

Attended my 10-year high school reunion. It was a lovely evening, even though I went alone. Hubby was wonderful enough to stay home with our darling boy, but unfortunately that meant he wasn't there to keep me from drinking and dancing in check. Three plastic cups of slow gin fizz later...

I found myself on the dance floor doing "The Elaine" in front of old classmates and their significant others.

Now, let me tell you this: I am the master of Elaine. Anyone who thinks they can do it better, feel free to challenge me to a video duel. I doubt anyone will take me up that, as most mindful people wouldn't dare allow themselves to be captured on film during such a heinous act.

Me? Well... after a few minutes of classic, alcohol-induced Seinfeld moves, my fuzzy brain realizes that at least - at least - 10 people are laughing hysterically while trying in vain to steady cameras and/or phones at the dance floor. I am the only one on the dance floor.

Somewhere on YouTube, there is some random idiot making a dancing queen fool of herself for the world to enjoy. That'd be me.

SWS: "Big Package...

... Just Arrived Yesterday Afternoon."

Remember to swing by Show My Face for Six Word Saturday, the sixiest way to spend your day!

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"I Won Snarky's Fabulous Oscar Contest"

Monsoon, modeling a lovely ensemble

Actual screenplays (!) and theater gift card.

"Still crazy busy; will get better."

SWS: Weekend Wahoo

Go see Call Me Cate for Six Word Saturday fun!

Live Band Yesterday; Girls Night Tonight!

(My cousin Jefe - on bass)

Pretend Summer and Sisterhood

Yesterday was sunny. Cold, bitterly so, but sunny, and there's no snow here. So I pretended it was Summer. It went like this:

• Blasted the heat in my car and enjoyed the rays coming in from my open sunroof. Never mind the icicles sticking out of my head when I got home.
• Took Monsoon and Sprinkles to the park, wearing enough winter layers to make us sweat like it was 90 degrees.
• Put on my swimsuit...and cried for two hours.
• Made a "tropical fruit bowl" for dessert: Strawberry, pineapple and coconut ice cream. Of course there's fruit in there. Somewhere.
• Had a picnic for lunch on the carpet. Okay, we didn't do this because Sprinkles can't eat people food and Monsoon can't help but drop crumbs (read: throw bits at her and say, "there you go!"). Also, she has pooped on the carpet and I'm not a fan of poop.
• Settled onto the couch with a cool smoothie. Sure, it was a margarita - but it was frozen and has lime. Lime is fruit.

I'm sure there's more we could have done, but it's Summer. And I'm on vacation.

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Also, I received this wonderful piece of bling from Veggie Mom. The Sisterhood Award, created by Diana Rambles, goes to blogs which show great attitude and/or gratitude! I'm supposed to send this on to ten more Sisters who demonstrate these traits. Here's the thing: I think anyone who has been here and commented is well-deserving of this beautiful bling. So I'm changing it up a bit. Anyone who visits and comments on this post today may consider herself awarded! Yay to all of you! And don't forget to visit Veggie Mom, who was so friendly to pass this along to me.

TAT: Yes, ON the Seat!

It's Tuesday, which means more awkward fun from Tova Darling's Totally Awkward Tuesdays! It might just be my favorite day of the week.



Several years ago, when my in-laws lived 16 hours away, we welcomed them into our home for a week during Christmas.



Despite their everpresent loveliness (disownership of toothbrushes; continual remote/tv-hogging; mispronunciations of such words as wrastling and styroids; and refusal to get off the couch, let alone leave our house to actually visit anyone) I was feeling a little... er.. stifled. By hour 3. Consequently, I spent much of my time hanging out with my younger siblings, tasting the first beer I ever actually enjoyed, and spending money we didn't have on gifts nobody needed.



On one such shopping spree, I found myself loaded down with more bags than I could carry comfortably and in desperate need of a tinkle break. Too bad my shopping bags couldn't fit in any bathroom stall, which was across the Mall anyway, so I lugged everything out to my car and (stupidly) decided I'd be okay until I got home.



By the time I arrived, traffic being her general holiday whore, there was no time to pry the oodles of gifts out of the car or even say hello as I tinkle-danced my way to our ONE and only bathroom. I slammed the door, ripped down my pants without bothering with buttons, and started to sit at the same time I yanked up the toilet lid. Aaaannnd.... STOP.



Silent scream in my head. There was a turd on the seat. Yes, ON the seat. There was no time to call for backup, and if I'd have thought about it I would have hovered over the shower drain - or maybe even the sink at that point. But my brain was not in charge, my bladder was doing all the thinking.



I grabbed an entire roll of TP to wipe it off, dumped half a bottle of bleach on top of the seat, swiped it down again with another roll of TP until there was no resi-poo and poured the rest of the bottle of bleach over the seat for good measure. It wasn't until a half hour later (when my bladder finally emptied completely) that I realized I was sitting in a puddle of bleach. It kind of burned, but quite honestly I was relieved to know there was not a germ left alive on that toilet seat.

Give It Away!

Sweet Tea Diaries is holding her first ever giveaway for all THIS:

All you cupcakes lovers out there, give Sweet Tea Diaries a visit and show some support! Contest entries are due by Monday, March 2nd @ 11:59 PM. Good luck!

A Simple Hug and Randomness

Megan at Infertile Myrtle has lavished my humble blog with not one, but TWO awards this week. Thank you, Megan! As she is always full of sweetness and inspiration, I highly recommend you all check out her blog. (for one good bloggy friend in particular, this is a c-free zone).

The Hug Award! How cute is this?

The rules are to give this award to ten people who make me feel special. In no particular order, are a few ladies who follow, comment consistently, and whose blogs have made me cry, snort coffee out my nose, pee a little, or even bake:

1. Cate at Show My Face
2. Snarky at Snarky Much?
3. Joanofalltrades at DiverCity, USA
4. Sassy Britches at Well, Okay, Sassy Britches
5. Corinne at The Story of Fynn and Paige
6. Mammatalk
7. Cookie Girl at Cookie Girl Creations
8. Terra at Tales from the Nightstand
9. Yaya and 10. Megan, who aren't really "tagged" here because they already had this (which is how I got it), but I had to at least mention them because they are just that fabulous.
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The second is the brutally Honest Scrap Award:

I received this one a little while back and passed it out to several people, so I won't name names this time. But... anyone who wants to participate in this fun award may consider themselves honored. Link back here and let me know! On the off chance any of you want to read more about me and my honest self (as if "The Shot" didn't leave you running for the hills!), please go here for my ten honest pieces of scrap.

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While I'm in the mode of thank yous, I want to send out a big fat Thanks! to Snarky, who held a wonderfully fun Oscar contest on Sunday. It was a three-way tie and she agonized about how to choose a winner, so after a random drawing, I was the lucky winner!

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Terra has started a new book club, of sorts, where she introduces and reviews books. There are contests galore, varying types of books, and a wonderful comment/conversation forum. This is the first week, so click the button below to head over and sign up!

Update!!! I just realized that, for some stupid blogger-related reason (because it certainly wasn't my screw-up!) half of the links to these lovely blogs are not matching up with the correct site! It's like they all got scrambled. Weird. I fixed it and hopefully it's right now. Sorry guys.

Totally Awkward Tuesdays: The Shot

Visit Tova Darling for Totally Awkward Tuesdays! It doesn't get funnier than TAT!

A warning to my Dad: I don't think you read my blog, but on the off chance you run across this, please move on to any other post. This one is not for you.

A little back story: I've mentioned before about the drama that unfolded in the delivery room after Monsoon was born. He was blue, but everyone kept shouting about my blood loss and dropping BP... I was so dizzy and sick and trying hard not to pass out, I couldn't understand much besides 1) I wanted my baby! and 2) the lovely doc had her arm so far up my hoo-hoo that I could actually see her hand moving around in my stomach. GA- ROSS!

Then my mom, the same woman who rolls her eyes and tells me to "suck it up and get on the school bus" after I vomit all over the front porch when I'm 9, says to me that she's going to go get my dad, "just in case," and runs out of the room.

By the time my dad came in to see me ("just in case"), the blanket covering my assaulted Australia had been replaced. Whew! We all got to say hello to each other and brand new Monsoon, everyone still feeling a little overwhelmed. So overwhelmed, in fact, that nobody noticed what the doc was doing at the foot of my bed until...

My dad, also at the foot of my bed, right behind the doc, got the shot. I couldn't feel my legs and they were still up in the stirrups when she ripped my blanket off with no warning. I don't remember for sure if I noticed the look on his face right then, or if I first saw it when we watched the video.

Yes, it's on tape. My dad got The Shot. The worst shot in the history of shots - and it was of his daughter! Ewwww.

p.s. (And a special thanks to Candy): My sister started rolling the camera right when Monsoon was visible in whole and didn't stop until she got to hold him. I appreciate this so much, and I suspect it was a helpful way for her to focus on something other than the drama. Just wish my dad's "shot face" hadn't been captured. Ewwww....

Not Me! Monday: A Bath Story

Click the button below to check out MckMama at My Charming Kids for More Not Me! Monday fun.

I did NOT give my son a bath with the puppy this week because Sprinkles did NOT smell like a pig. Monsoon did NOT refuse to get in the tub, NOT wearing me down to the point of NOT throwing Sprinkles in just to get him to bathe willingly. I did NOT let him help me wash her with her special doggie shampoo, and was NOT worried about hurting her puppy skin with regular soap, so I definitely did NOT just use dog shampoo on my child. No, I absolutely did NOT!

I do NOT wish I had gotten a picture, because it would NOT have gone so well with this post. I am NOT afraid you will all judge my (lack of) parenting based on this. NOT at all. Obviously, I am NOT posting this.