Eat and be Eaten

Some people believe those who dream often have higher IQs. Others keep dream interpretation books on their nightstands. Some claim to never dream at all, and a few say they know they have dreams but just can't remember anything about them. I don't really buy into all that.

Sometimes they're just dreams and are better forgotten, no matter how realistic they seem. Like when I woke up and repeatedly kicked my husband in the back until he woke up so I could yell at him for cheating on me in my sleep. I was angry for two days.

Occasionally though, it's pretty obvious that your subconscious is sending you a message.

The other night I dreamt I was being chased around a shopping mall by a live T-Rex who kept alternately transforming into a woman in a business suit who bought me snacks. I could have left the mall, of course, but I then I wouldn't get any more snacks. I woke up as the T-Rex version was just about to chomp down on me, and mostly I was thinking how I wouldn't even get to finish my cinnamon soft pretzel.

I'm pretty sure my relationship with food is getting dangerous.

Don't mess with me, Rule #1

Every man alive should know how to NOT piss off a woman.

Rule #1: Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT mess with a woman's chocolate.

My lovely husband brought me home a very small, very delicious mint M&M blizzard from Dairy Queen last night. It was heaven. Mostly because anything mint and chocolate is pretty much my favorite thing ever (besides coffee with mint and chocolate - but that's for daytime).

It got me thinking about how long it had been since I had experienced this particular icy treat. I hadn't had one since before Monsoon. Way before... like so long ago the flashback gave me a shock.

I was on fertility drugs and being poked with needles all the time. I was gaining weight and not getting pregnant. It was late and I needed my chocolate with mint. NOW. Drive-thru fast!

Long story short, they screwed it up, gave me plain vanilla with M&Ms and NO MINT.

Wanna know how where the blizzard ended up? Certainly not where it belonged.

I took globs of it and started throwing it out the window, screaming like the madwoman I had become in that insane moment. We ended up at home with a half-empty, half-melted mess of a crumpled blizzard cup, spilling out onto my lap. That part got thrown across our front yard.

Yes, my husband was a dear to put up with me in those years, but he could have just turned the car around and gone back to let me put that blizzard where it really belonged: In the face of the idiot behind the counter. That kid needed to learn about rule #1.

Big Cooking Day. It was BIG.

It's an interesting concept... cooking your meals for the month in one day. Only having to thaw and heat up dinner, no sink full of messy pots and pans each night, having everything planned out ahead of time. The best part? Once a Month Mom does the paper work and organizing, so all that is required is following directions.

Everything is set up for two people, so I forced my mom to do it with me. She has freezer space and I don't. She likes to keep busy and I don't. I like to eat and she doesn't. It worked out pretty fairly, I think.

On Thursday, I spent three hours at the grocery store. Three hours! But all that time buying bulk items and calculating costs ended up saving us about 50% off the bill, so it was worth it. Maybe.

On Friday, it took two hours to cut up all the veggies we would need for our "Big Cooking Day." All I can say is, thank goodness for Monsoon's help. Sure, he made a big mess (of course I didn't, I'm not messy), but he also made the experience -which should have been violently boring - enjoyable. In the time it took me to peel 3 pounds of carrots, Monsoon shaved two of them down to nubs:
Here is a comparison of a whole carrot with a nub of a carrot:

See how helpful he was? The 10 pounds of onions may have been getting to me, but I laughed til I cried. Oh yeah, and our entire house still smells of onion.

Saturday was the big day, starting at 9 a.m. It was an 8 hour cooking frenzy, but we did it. Each of us now have 16 dinners in the freezer, labeled and ready to eat (okay, thaw, heat, then eat).

Would I do it again? Absolutely. If you try it, though, here's a big tip: tell your sister to keep her own kids that day, and while you're at it, have her take yours as well. Three screaming children distracted my mom from doing all the work for me made it a little more stressful than it should have been.

We actually tried the first dinner last night. It was OAMM's Mom's spaghetti sauce, and let me just say, I may never go back to store-bought again. Husband and I ate an entire jar, and licked our plates. It was that good. I wish I had thawed another jar so we could eat it again tonight.

6WS: Once-a-month big cooking day

Eight hours in kitchen with mom.

Visit Show My Face for more six word fun this Saturday!

Sugar + Monsoon = Dog poo?

Monsoon was relatively calm today, and he didn't really beat anybody up at school. I figured, why not stuff him with cookie dough and overload his little body with sugar sprinkles? Plus, I needed blog fodder, and we all know how that trumps everything.

Here is Monsoon licking icing off his arm, and my Nano in the background. Scary, huh? Don't worry - she doesn't always look like that. In this shot, she's laughing hysterically. And probably peed her pants (sorry Nano).

Nano has a thing with hands. Usually she traces them on paper. Today was extra special - Monsoon's cookie hand! It wasn't supposed to look so spooky, but you know how dough gets after the 6th or 7th roll-out.

Yes, I still let him play with knives. 'Round here we call 'em kids knives.

The final product wasn't so creepy, unless you think of all the orange sugar that used to be in the glass bowl. Most of it ended up in Monsoon's tummy.
Maybe this final cookie is somewhat scary. It kind of looks like dog poo, but it was his favorite one.Give me your best shot is happening over at Better In Bulk. Participate today (it's the last day!) to gain extra entries into the FLIP camera giveaway. Or, just join in for fun - because it is. You can also win entries by answering the daily question at her site AND Seven Clown Circus, Mama's Losin' It, and Mayhem And Moxie.

If you'd like to make some delicious (SO delicious!) sugar cookies (with whole wheat, even) I suggest The Ungourmet's recipe. She's fabulous.

Two weeks, one pound down; 8 weeks, 19 pounds to go.

Weighed in tonight at "group therapy w/ grandmas" and, after two weeks of running on schedule, adding extra heavy-duty work-outs, and cutting back on baked goods.... I've lost one of the four pounds I should have.

I suppose substituting cocktails for sweets was bound to sabotage my efforts. Too bad, I was really getting used to them. The two unopened bottles of Bacardi (okay fine, one of them I opened yesterday) are calling my name after tonight's grueling sweat-fest.

The one slice of chocolate cake leftover from Monsoon's birthday party is looking all too good, as well. Do you think I'll be able to carry it all the way from the counter to the garbage can without smashing it into my mouth? I mean, the lid will have to come off... I'll smell it... some of the fudgey icing might slide down my fingers anyway and what's a girl to do with that? If I'm going to lick the worst (calorie-wise) part, I might as well just eat a hunk.

You're right. I'm a liar. I ate half of it while I typed. The gooey frosting-covered keyboard is possibly one of the many things wrong with my laptop. On the bright side, there's another whole week before next weigh-in.

Hello, treadmill, old foe.

Round Robin: Shirley Maclaine

Some of my favorite childhood memories involve nice restaurants, filet mignon or lobster, and always the staple princess drink: A Shirley Temple. While I still enjoy the cherry flavor in my 7-up, it's a bit too sweet for my grown-up pallet. Plus, I like a kick with my surf-n-turf now and then. So I came up with a low-cavity solution to this fabulous indulgence. I call it a Shirley Maclaine.

Start with a splash of grenadine in your martini glass, add a shot of cherry flavored rum (if you so choose, but it also makes for a fabulous non-alcoholic drink), pour to half full with 7-up, and fill the rest of your glass with club soda, leaving just enough room for a cube or two of ice. No stirring required. If it's still too sweet for you, use only club soda and forget the 7-up.

Enjoy your trip down classy-kid memory lane.

This post is part of a Round Robin event held monthly by Amy at Keeping Up With The Schultz Family. Click the cute little button to participate or visit other lovely bloggers with plenty to share.

Vacation: A day-by-day account of activities and ice cream

Day #1: On the road for 7 hours, we heard a lot of "my butt hurts!!!!" and "I just want to go to the beach!" It's hard for a kid to understand about distance - why on Earth don't we just live closer to it?

Day #2: Second day on the road, also the day of the Offensive Little Comments. We arrived at our hotel on this day, and Monsoon promptly got his head stuck in our 8th floor balcony rail. We ventured out to the beach in our clothes, expecting the boy to be afraid of the ocean like last year, so of course he ran right into the giant waves with great pleasure. Had pizza for dinner and ice cream for dessert. Mint chip.

Day #3: Road our bikes down the 3-mile boardwalk and back, spent the afternoon at the beach and walked the shops. Monsoon made up an imaginary friend, she was a baby and had to come with us - he insisted on pushing her in the stroller the whole time we were out that night, until we stopped for ice cream (chocolate/vanilla swirl). That's when she started jumping into garbage cans and onto lamp posts so he had to save her while I pushed the empty stroller.

(at some point I tried to turn off the date stamp on my camera, but it went back to january of '06 instead, then kept flipping back & forth on it's own. Stupid thing)

Day #4: Ocean was too choppy for jet skis, so we rented kayaks on the inlet instead. After trying it (I was pretty nervous about flipping) I want my own kayak. I could do that every day! We stopped for ice cream (vanilla w/ cherry dip) after, and later had rich Italian dinner and tirimisu for dessert.
(my butt is now twice this size)

Day #5: Hubs and I had a romantic lunch, just the two of us. How did we accomplish this feat, you ask? Purely by accident... we left Monsoon in the hotel. Kidding. It was a late lunch (after a bike and beach morning) and he fell asleep leaning on my arm before we even got our drinks! He didn't even wake up when we polished off our apple crumble ala mode.

Barely made it to the Virginia Aquarium to pet sting rays, coo over baby lager head turtles and look at sharks up close (they're kind of scary). We stopped later for ice cream (mint/chocolate swirl). And fudge.

Day #6: Beach and playground morning, then stopped for ice cream (chocolate w/ sprinkles) before we left town. Half way home, we remembered the laptop has a dvd player and stopped to pick up some movies for poor Monsoon who's butt hurt by hour two. A West Virginian black bear came running at our car out of one of the mountains, but apparently noticed the mac truck behind us so he screeched to a stop before crossing the highway. It was pretty cool. Back in Ohio that night, still a couple hours from home, we ran into a nasty storm and Hubs had us looking out for tornadoes (he's a paranoid freak, have I mentioned?). One flash of lightening lit up the whole sky and I saw something white and cylindrical ahead of us, so I kept looking in that direction to try and see what it was when the sky lit up again. I noticed hubs looking in the exact same spot - he had seen it, too. It wasn't my imagination. We breathed a sigh of relief when we could see for another flashing second and nothing was there. Five minutes down the road, we saw paths across the road and missing tress, and we knew what we had seen. Ca-ree-peeee!

SWS: Ambushed!

"Local chocolate shop + fresh strawberries = bliss."

Until I bite into my plump, juicy, chocolatey-coated berry to find, layered between the two, a dirty rotten liar. Her name is white, and she is NOT chocolate! She has ruined my heavenly dessert, and I will have my sweet revenge.

"White chocolate, you are thine enemy!"

*

Visit Show My Face to participate in Six Word Saturday!

My first gluten-free day

I wasn't expecting to start the whole thing today, but woke up this morning and realized one box of cereal on top of our fridge (the one way back in the back that I can barely reach? The one that's been there for maybe a year because nobody will eat it? That one) is gluten-free. Add that to an overabundance of fruit that's plenty ripe and won't last - thanks Hubs for the overstock - and I've got my first start on a gluten-free day.

Why stop there?

By 3, I was ready for some bread. There's nothing quite as filling as bread. Let's face it, a gigantic bowl of fruit might squelch my sweet tooth, but I'll still be hungry in ten minutes. So...

Dragged Monsoon to the health food store (without a list), grabbed some things that looked good enough to eat from the gluten-free aisle, and let him pull me out the door. Unpacking my purchases, I realize there is only one product that is NOT dessert. In the whole bag. *shrug*

So here I sit, laptop covered in gooey-sticky chocolate brownie and I am one happy girl. Oh, and seeing as how I didn't actually buy anything for dinner, we ended up eating a pizza from the local gluten-free restaurant - which was delicious! - and picked up a loaf of GF bread and some (more) GF chocolate chip cookies while we were there.

All in all, the first day was less painful than I anticipated. After all, I can still have chocolate.

If you love cookies...

... check out this fabulous giveaway at Munchkins and Mayhem for $75 worth of custom, gourmet fortune cookies from Fancy Fortune Cookies. Fortune cookies never looked so good.

SWS: Dinner from the Local Bar

"I like my wings extra sloppy."

Visit Cate at Show My Face to join in the Six Word Saturday craze that's sweeping the blog world!

A Blogless Weekend

Friday morning: Writer's workshop, keynote speaker Jim Daniels (a working class poet). I honestly fell in love with his work, and I'm not much of a poetry person.

Friday evening, take one: Trying to get Monsoon to taste his ziti. "I can't. My teeth are broken."

Friday evening, take two: Splinter chaos. Tweezers are not our friend. Monsoon nearly knocked himself unconscious trying to get away.

Friday night, well past bedtime: Finally (Monsoon asleep) arrive at Oscar's place, Sprinkles in tow and really excited about the three other dogs that live there. None of them tried to eat her, which was good.

Saturday morning, 5 a.m./an hour and a half before we had to get up: "Are we at Uncle Oscar's house?! Yay! Yay!" Monsoon proceeded to wake every creature within a 2 block radius, including Oscar's two roommates, who do not have children. I'm sure they were perfectly happy with us, because they said they didn't mind. I totally believe them and wasn't embarrassed at all.

Saturday morning, later: Oscar blew everyone else out of the water and finished FIRST in his second 5K ever. Hubs beat his time from the last 5K, too, and my mom came in first in her age group! Monsoon and I ran the "kid's one mile fun run." It was a complete accident when that other kid tripped over Monsoon's feet at the end.

Saturday afternoon: The North Market in Columbus. I don't even know what to say about this, other than WOW I want to live there. I could even pack myself in a tent on the roof to live there. It is fabulous. Food, food, more food... and it was (almost) alllll delicious, including some of the same fine chocolates that were put into the Oscar baskets for movie stars. I didn't care much for the "organic feet" display, as far as food goes, but I do wish I hadn't left my camera in the car.

Saturday night: Mellow Mushroom Pizza. It's just beautifully taste-tastic. The waitress was hot for my brother and kept bringing him beer. I only got one refill the whole night.

Monsoon on a Stuffy Nose. (warning: gross post)

My baby's got a bit of a cold, so I was rocking with him near bedtime and we were have such a nice cuddle fest that I didn't bother to stop rocking when he started falling asleep. Before he could totally conk out, though, he had a massive slurpy/stuffy/snotty-nose sniffing attack. You know, when you need to blow your nose but instead just sniff and snuff for a long moment to suck it all back up.

I whispered: I can get you a tissue, Honey Pot.


Monsoon whispered (half asleep): No, Mommy.. I just like the taste of boogers.

I never thought I'd miss the days when he handed me a green slimeball after a particularly juicy sneeze.

Giveaways and Spring Fling!

The SITS girls are hosting a Spring Fling event this Tuesday, March 10th with a day of giveaways. Be sure and stop by to check out their many prizes along with links to tons of other blogs and giveaways (including mine, which you'll see more about tomorrow)!

Tiffany from SITS is also holding a fabulous giveaway for 2 $100 Target gift cards to celebrate her new position with Fishful Thinking, an initiative that offers parents tools for fostering optimism in kids. It really is a fantastic program and will be so helpful to so many kids. Check out The R Family Diaries for more info on this contest and this wonderful new initiative.

Veggie Mom, quite a generous gifter-awayer, is hosting yet another giveaway (and another, if you can believe it!) for an 8-pack of those rocking Popr's, Popr's t-shirts for your family and a $100 gift card to Target! Pictured below is Jammin, an Attitudester from Mannequin at Fractured Toy, having her own Popr's party.

Give It Away!

Sweet Tea Diaries is holding her first ever giveaway for all THIS:

All you cupcakes lovers out there, give Sweet Tea Diaries a visit and show some support! Contest entries are due by Monday, March 2nd @ 11:59 PM. Good luck!

Thursday's Things: Whirley Pop!ping

Wabash Valley Farms: The Original Whirley Pop

Who doesn't love Popcorn? Unfortunately, it's hard to find good popcorn (or make it, for that matter) when you don't use a microwave.

That's right. I do not use a microwave. But that's a whole other post.

Monsoon loves popcorn like any kid, so instead of going broke buying him bags of it for them to pop for him, my mom got me a Whirley Pop popcorn maker for Christmas. Perfect popcorn in an easy 3 minutes, minus the smell of burnt bag.

And for those of you who can't read are skinny bit.. too fat to care don't count calories, Wabash Valley Farms also makes REAL THEATER POPCORN all-in-one packets; just cut, pour and pop! And it really tastes just like what you get at the movies... only not stale. Really.

Anyone who has THINGS to share is welcome to participate in Thursday's Things, just link up below!

Thursday's Things: Salsafied

It's time for another installment of Thursday's Things. Play along! Post about any old (or new) thing you love (or hate). Anything goes! Just add your name and the link to your Thursday's Things post to Mr. Linky, then post a comment here and check out the other THINGS bloggers are talking about. Thanks for participating!


My THING for this Thursday is:

Green Mountain Gringo Salsa

It's one of my favorite fat free snacks. Wait! Don't run! I swear it's delicious! Don't you know salsa is suppose to be free of fat - and healthy to boot! Full of yummy veggies (yeah, okay, and loaded with peppers to hide the veggie "yumminess").

I prefer the HOT variety if I have to pick one, but my favorite is mixing the HOT and MEDIUM together with some "On The Border" Cantina Thins (Not pictured, sorry. They're about as tough to snap as Bigfoot around here), especially warmed for just a minute in the oven. YUM!

So check out your local grocer for some SALSA! Green Mountain Gringo Salsa, to be precise. I don't even let Hubby share my jar(s) of this stuff - he has his own and if he eats it first, too bad!

Pop'rs Fried Ice Cream Sundae

First of all, much thanks to Veggie Mom over at Eat Your Veggies for running so many contests! I was the lucky winner of the last contest, in which I won an entire box (8 flavors!) of Pop'rs! I wanted to post something about the Pop'rs to share with everyone, and this is what I came up with:
A Healthier version of Fried Ice Cream!

I love fried ice cream. Love it! But it's sooo bad with the hot fudge and fried, sugar-coated tortilla. Not to mention you have to go to a restaurant to get it. Well, no more!

Here's what you'll need:

• Vanilla Frozen Yogurt (I use Edy's Fat Free Yogurt Blend)
• Plain Greek Yogurt
• Wheat Germ, unsweetened
• Slivered Almonds
• Hershey's Syrup (I like the "added calcium" variety)
• Cinnamon flavored Pop'rs

1. Mix 2 parts frozen yogurt (softened) with 1 part (or less, depending on your taste) Greek yogurt. Re-freeze just until it's not melty.
2. Top the yogurt mixture with the next four ingredients, in the order they are listed.

That's it! The cinnamon Pop'rs make an excellent substitute for the crunchy tortilla, and believe me - I've tried lots of other at-home versions of fried ice cream. This one tops the list. So go get your Veggie Pop'rs!

Even better news? Veggie Mom is running a Valentine's contest all this week (ends Friday) to give out another whole box of Pop'rs and t-shirts for the whole family to TWO lucky winners! You better believe I'm entering again. Pop on over to Eat Your Veggies for your own chance to win these magnificent little treat-makers. Winners announced on Valentine's Day.

Thursday's Things: Gone Belgian

Let's see if we can drum up some THINGS for the second week of Thursday's Things! Come on and play along, rules are fairly lax, just be generous with your comments.

1. Post about a specific thing or theme of things, be it a thing you love, hate or just have to talk about. Give us pics if you want, descriptions about it and why you are posting about it. (Last week I did family games; this week is chocolate... maybe next it'll be a book or group or activity...)
2. Hook up with Mr. Linky below, leaving your name and the link to your specific Thursday's Things post.
3. Leave a comment here and share the comment love on the other participant's posts while we share our love or hate of some things and maybe find some new things to love or hate.
   

In honor of the impending V-day next week, I'm sharing with you all one of my very favorite things of all time. It's a thing, it's a place, it's an atmosphere all in one.

Lucas Belgian Chocolates.

Every fond memory of my childhood can somehow be linked back to, you guessed it, chocolate. For instance, the first time my mom knew my dad and I would be okay together: She walked in on him sharing his Hershey bar with me (something he had NEVER shared with her. Ever). I think I was like 3... days or so.

But this place, ahhh, this place. We've been visiting Charleston, S.C. since I can remember, and the only thing that I remember from every single trip, other than the beach, was visiting - no, experiencing - this place. I can smell it now if I close my eyes and pretend I'm there - freshly mixed kettles of melted chocolate.. dipped giant strawberries.. hand-made truffles.. and oh, did I mention the aroma? It's a teensy little shop next to the market downtown, and I know every inch of the glass case by heart.

So, for Valentine's Day, if you're looking for something extra sweet for yourself (alright, or your sweetie), look no further. Check out the shop's website here. It's small and quaint, and that's part of the charm - just like the shop and Charleston itself.

Here's a list of just a few items you can order, just in case you aren't already falling off that new year's wagon. **most of these come in a choice of milk or dark chocolate, some in white also.

Truffles:
Mousse*Fudge Love*Double Chocolate*Triple Chocolate*Butter Toffee*Mint*Coconut*Coconut Cream Pie*Raspberry*Strawberry*Black ForestKalhua*Irish Cream*Grand Marnier*Champagne*Macadamia*Expresso*Cappuccino*

Other Chocolates:

Butter Crunch*Dipped Apricot*Chewy Caramel*Praline Bar*Orange Peel*Dipped Cherries

Mmmmm.... Enjoy!

P.S. I might add, in case anyone needs varification of my chocolate-tasting skills, I can tell the difference between what type of chocolate (as in brand) was used in the making of homemade ice cream. It's a gift, maybe not so uncommon, but thought I'd mention it.