Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Saturday, January 10

Dear Deer


Dear Deer,

I was just outside checking my mailbox, but I think I saw you pass by. In fact, I'm sure it was you.

You did not look comfortable, my friend. The teal, 1989 Cavalier seemed a bit of a squeeze for a creature such as yourself, even with only your driver sharing the ride.

Your antlers, I noticed, have grown since last we met ('05, when you clobbered the front end of my jeep and hopped away before the police arrived). Was it painful to have them poking into the top of that car just now? You didn't look happy, but then, I've never seen your teeth before - maybe you were actually smiling.

Either way, the road before me will never be quite as interesting as it once was. I will never again be shocked at the sight of a child with no car seat; Santa driving a mini-van; or two ladies making out in the front seat while one of them is supposed to be handling the wheel. You, sir, take the cake.

I do hope you remembered your seat belt. I also wish your driver would have stopped for a photo op because I doubt we will cross paths again... unless you happened to be riding with Uncle Herb who went hunting this morning and who is also having us over for dinner tomorrow.

I'm sure that's not the case - Uncle Herb wouldn't even let me ride shotgun. Oh dear, deer, that makes me think of something else entirely.

Yours in squishdom,

R.A.S.

Note: I did actually see an actual car with an actual deer riding in the actual front seat. Today. In front of my house. What the...? Who does that?

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4 comments:

Scary Mommy said...

Deers scare the shit out of me. I almost hit one last week and I swear, it took an hour for my heart rate to return to normal- they're so
fast and so HUGE!!

Call Me Cate said...

I guess better to see a deer IN the car (especially someone else's) then in the road in front of the car. Still, what a bizarre sight.

Rachel Anne said...

Were you drinking at the time? Just kiddin.

This post made me really chuckle!!

Ryan Ashley Scott@Opitimistic Cyicism said...

Scary Mommy: I know! They just appear without notice, right in front of you!

Call Me Cate: I agree. Better, but mostly just plain funnier. I so wish for a picture of it.

Rachel Anne: I absolutely was not. It was like noon... and not a Saturday. Or Monday, Tuesday, Wed... wait, what day was it? Maybe you're right.