I did NOT accidentally pet Sprinkles on the butt instead of the tail because she's so dark and hairy that it's NOT hard to tell which end is which. She is totally NOT a "butt-head."
I have NOT been trying, unsuccessfully, to stop using this :) and this ;) because I have never NOT ever over-used either of them. I do NOT feel the need to add those little faces in order to make sure whoever is receiving the message knows when I'm being nice. NOT all the time.
I am NOT just two inches away from a rant about my husband's friend who is an idiot. (seriously, how do you complain for years about your life sucking but now finally - amazingly - talked a woman, who is out of your league by the way, into dating you and then bring up your self-involved pity party over your ex-wife to the new girlfriend? You are an idiot. p.s. it's creepy when you tell another man's wife you like her toes.) Since it isn't my business, I did NOT just go into it.