Sanity or Patience: choose one.

Do you ever have one of those moments where you think, "HA! I am sane!" Then you step in dog poo with your bare feet and remember it was your idea to get the puppy...?

Monday, May 18

On Feminism

I can honestly say I've never really thought of myself as a feminist. I know, I know: *GASP*


My best friend, The Fabulous Miss Weiner, has always proclaimed herself as such. She went to college and minored in women's studies. She came home on school breaks, haughtily throwing down photo-copied pages of offensive women's magazines and high school home-ec books from the 50's, all encouraging women to do right by their men, if they did nothing else in their life.


There were a few years where we seemed worlds apart, and neither of us really understood the other. I'm using the two of us as an example because, while we were so close all through middle and high school, we wanted completely different lifestyles.


You all may know I got married at 19. I wanted to be a wife and mother, cook and clean, and leave my husband to do the dirty labor outside our home. I realize, now, that it was a naive take on life, but let me be clear. I didn't plan on staying home for my husband's sake. I didn't just want to take care of him. At the time, it was what I wanted (never mind that I won't EVER do dishes by hand and we didn't have a child until 8 years later).


Yes, I've changed over the years. My needs and goals are different than they were a decade ago, and the same has happened for Miss Weiner. Priorities have been swapped, wants have been compromised, and wisdom seems even more elusive. Thankfully, I still have my best friend.


So here I am, at 30, thinking about feminism and what it really means. To me, it's simple: Doing what makes me happy and not conforming to anyone else's beliefs about what I should be doing simply because I am a woman. It also means being responsible for my own success. I am a feminist, after all.


What does feminism mean to you?

**You'll really want to check out THIS extra-short post about Miss Weiner**

13 comments:

Amy said...

To me feminism means doing things on your own as a woman and not asking for help. But at times you may need some help. So I guess I really do not know.

kimber p said...

Feminism to me means that I've taken responsibility for what goes on in my life. Asking for help from a man doesn't make you a non-feminist, heck I need help lifting things at times and the obvious person to ask is a man...lol It's about taking the power back and being strong and confident. Not automatically handing the reins of life over to the male in your life...it's about being an equal partner and not a subservient, quiet as a mouse maid to the man in your life.....it's about not asking for money it's about making your own money....it's so many things...it's not man-hating, it's being in charge of who you are.

this is an awesome subject..I can't seriously say everything I want to say without writing a book here...lol

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

I think you hit the nail on the head... Feminism is about the ability to make choices.

Snarky A. said...

I fully believe in equality. Every single person are equal, with no regards to any defining labels that might apply to you. That does, of course, not mean we all have to be the same, with the same strengths and weaknesses, but we all should have power over our own life.

Jennifer said...

I've never really thought about it, but your definition sounds good.

Kathy B! said...

RAS, I don't think I could have summed up my beleifs better than you did in your closing paragraph. Honestly, I think you've nailed it.

Grand Pooba said...

Gosh I don't really ever think of feminism. Well I guess that's a lie because when I think, geeze, my husband should have done this for me cuz I'm the girl, that counts as feminism right?

I guess I'm guilty because I grew up with a father who is a complete gentleman. I always tell him he ruined it for me for real life. Guys are just not that way anymore. So it was very hard when my hubster and I got married because he grew up with all brothers and a mother that did everything for them and that's how he thought how it should be. And then there's me, the father did everything so i thought that's how it should be.

See the conflict here? Luckily after 7 years of realizing we both had impossible expectations of eachother, it's all better!

Laura said...

I love your definition of feminism -- I want to make choices that are right for me and my family without being judged.

And I want equal pay for equal work. Sad that we still have to fight that battle.

Michelle said...

Yep, for me feminism is very similar. It's doing what you want because YOU want to do it and not because it's what's expected of you, being comfortable in your own skin.

Julia said...

Bring it on baby! I am probably as feminist as is possible but still hold the right to be feminine!

BlueEyedWonder said...

I'm thinking that feminism to me is about being able to know that when you are on your own out there, that you can do what you have to do to take care of yourself. That you do not have to be dependent upon someone else.
After my divorce 6 yrs ago..I learned that I could take care of me and my daughter without his help. That I did take charge of my life and have done what I knew I could do and never wanted to before.
And now I am in college doing what I still should have done a few years ago...looking towards a new career...
And even though I've met someone and it seems to be becoming serious, I know I can still do it on my own if need be.

Megan said...

I've never really thought about it either, but I agree with your last statement.

Sassy Britches said...

I'm so on board with everyone here. I think it's about taking (back?) the power to be able to be whomever you want to be and however you want to be and not subscribing to any propaganda about who you "should" be or how you "should" act, solely because you're a woman.