Geographical Anatomy

How do you explain those parts to a 5 year old? How about a 4 year old? Three year old? Two?

When he was four, Monsoon got up-close and curious as a friend breast-fed her baby in our living room. I explained by way of comparing mommy's milk to cow's milk and he assumed that women have utters. Ahem. He might still call them that...

Most everyone I know has heard the story of the first time he watched me change my niece's diaper and very seriously asked, "Girls have two butts, Mommy?" It's one of my all-time favorites.

When it comes to naming a woman's nethers, no matter how many times he asks, I just can't bring myself to say it. I imagine every name I've heard of would sound vulgar coming from my preschooler. We could go with medical terminology, since he knows he's got a penis, but every time I think of saying "vagina," the scene from Kindergarten Cop plays out in my head.

I realize this has gotten out of hand. I've been deliberating far too long, and someone finally beat me to the punch. A girl at school today gave him his first official anatomy lesson, which he relayed to me at home.

"Hey Mommy? Boys have a penis and girls have a china."