The lies we teach...

Monsoon is four. He's a good kid. Really. He's honest and trustworthy most of the time - although he does occasionally tell a fib with a huge grin and arched eyebrows like he's surprised he's doing it, so I can always tell. He's only four, though, and I understand that there are few precious years where he'll be entirely truthful and open with his mother, and those few years are nearly up. I want to hold onto them, though, as long as I can. We teach him to own up to his mistakes, clean up his messes and to think of others first, as hard as it is for him.

He's the type of kid who, when the video store clerk offers him a sucker from the basket, will automatically tell her, "Mommy said I can't have anymore candy today." He shares even his most prized goodies with whoever is around (as long as it's his idea to share and nobody told him to). He laughs and tells us when Grandpa gives him an extra Popsicle (because of course Grandpa's authority overrides anything we have said). He has been sheltered from manipulation and he hasn't really known about lying. Until today.

Today, he was asked to keep a secret from Mommy and Daddy. The secret itself wasn't any huge deal - he watched a movie when I had specifically requested that he not. He was permitted to watch it anyway, and made to promise that he would keep it a secret. He slipped by accident, then my husband had to coax it out of him, ever so gently, careful not to let on his anger. He wasn't angry at Monsoon, of course. He was angry that someone would purposely teach our young child how to manipulate and lie. The secret, of course, was not to protect Monsoon. It was to protect the people who let him do what he wasn't supposed to do.

Sure you can do it, we just can't tell Mommy and Daddy. That's right, you don't have to stick to their rules as long as you keep it a secret.

Don't they figure it out soon enough? I'm heartbroken. It may seem trivial, I suppose, given the precise secret. It just makes me sad. It tears me up that he really thought he had to keep it a secret, and tried not to tell us. I want him to know that he can talk to us about anything, always. It's one of the most important lessons I want him to learn. We are his parents. We will love him always, no matter what. He shouldn't be afraid to tell us anything. Ever.

What do you all think? What would you do?

SWS: On Birthdays & Publishing

"Happy Birthday to my Husband... yesterday."

&...

"I am being 'published.' Online. Sunday."

&....

I hope I counted correctly. (beer).

***

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Our anniversaries are a lot like our marriage: Nothing ever goes quite like we planned.

(Monsoon took this photo of us. Future photographer, I think.)

Anniversary #1: Hubs and I saved up for months to stay in Cinci and go out on the town for an evening. The day before, my family had our annual reunion a state away, so we drove down and stayed with my grandparents - as did Miss Kitty and my mom, who brought our year-old dethawed wedding cake top. The best part of that day was having breakfast and coffee with them, then digging into our cake (it was actually delicious). We ended up spending the rest of our first anniversary stuck at a T/A station in the burning sun and using all our carefully saved cash for a something-or-other to make our car run.

Anniversary #2: We decided to keep it more low-key and just hit a movie. We did venture 45 minutes out of the way to the new theatre with "stadium-seating," though. It caught fire 20 minutes into "Liar Liar." We were evacuated, nobody was injured, and everyone was aloud back in an hour later.

After that, we pretty much stayed home and had relatively small mishaps. Last year, my cousin's rehearsal dinner was on our anniversary, so it was kind of like having a big party thrown for our tenth... except I didn't get to be the bride and no one was taking pictures of me.

This year, hubs surprised me with reservations at a fabulous restaurant, old Hollywood style and service fit for a queen and the best filet mignon you've ever imagined... We took Monsoon. I was expecting (being our anniversary) something outrageous to happen, but no, it was perfect right down the spoonful of vanilla bean seeds under my creme brulee.

I guess our anniversary magic got it's digs in a couple days early this time around. Seeing a black bear running at our car in a West Virginia Mountain and spotting a tornado on the road in front of us (all in one day, all while traveling home from vacay) were quite enough for one week.

Even with all the excitement, my husband always remembers to get me a card. He always spends time at the store reading and shopping for a card that is perfectly fitting for however we are that year. He never forgets our anniversary (even if it sneaks up on me) and never fails to surprise me with something special (even though I almost always end up saying, "sorry hon, catch ya next year").

It's possible he's trying to make up for things like "accidentally" spraying sunscreen into my contact case or not rubbing my feet every night like he promised (that was in the vows, right?). Every marriage has flaws - it's made of people, you know - and nothing works out quite how we planned, but I'm grateful for the last eleven years and all the unplanned excitement that has made such a mark on our lives.

(Hubs took this of Monsoon and I... guess where the boy gets his fab photo skillz.)

SWS: Anniversary!

"Celebrating eleven years of marriage today."

Also...

"Home from vacation and still recuperating."

*

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Aunt's Day

My parents were good sports. They took me to dance lessons for years and years, knowing long before I did that grace was not something I would ever be able to claim; they called me princess, knowing long before I did that I was not the center of the universe; they forked out big bucks for my very first musical instrument, knowing long before I did that the trombone would be an even bigger pain in my butt than it looked. They played along, and they were good sports all the while.

One year, I decided that mothers and fathers were not the only people special enough to have an entire day dedicated to them. I announced, or maybe I demanded, that aunts should have a special day, too. They played along. We picked a day, I don't remember what day it was, and we planned a big party. We invited all the aunts we knew - my aunts, their aunts, cousin's aunts... there were decorations and food and even a cake. The highlight of the afternoon? I dressed up in one of my mom's old flowing, flowery dresses and "sang" (because my parents let me think I could, knowing long before I did that my tortured-coyote voice would be the death of any such career) some made-up-as-I-went melody to all the aunts, about all the aunts, for much longer than any of the aunts should possibly have been forced to bare. It was a fabulous party.

So on this Mother's Day weekend, as we're wishing all the mother's a happy day, let's remember to share some love with the aunts as well, because they play along, too. They attend unending dance recitals, they buy those forbidden sparkly princess heels and barbie make-up, they agree with you about quitting the stupid trombone when your parents tell you to stick it out... They play along, too.

Happy Day to my beautiful mother, my charming sister, and Miss Kitty - three of the most fabulous aunts I know.
(This morning at my house - Candy, Oscar, Mom, Miss Kitty, my perfect nephew and Sprinkles. Yes, you do see brownie pancakes, strawberry breakfast ice cream and Smurf glasses).

100th Post: "I Know" plus a *Giveaway*

Lessons learned:

1. Blogging is a full-time gig. This leaves little time for such extra curriculars as housekeeping and career placement. (Husband is nodding vigorously...?)


2. Kroger has an excellent benefit package... oh no, sorry, Hubs was talking while I type. Don't you just hate that?


3. Even if I warn my dad not to read "this post," my aunt (we'll call her Kitty - first and foremost because it's another word for Australia, which is what I should call her after the stunt she pulled) will tell him all about it. Thanks, Miss Kitty. Which brings me to...


4. A gazillion Three people I know in real life read this. Sometimes when I'm out acting a fool painting the town, I hear, "Hey, you're funny."


5. Even though the above mentioned person didn't say exactly "you are funny," I know he thinks I'm funny because he couldn't stop laughing at with me. Note to "person": stop calling me Elaine.
6. Tuesdays are Awkward, thanks to Tova Darling, but I can't figure out why this concept isn't completely famous by now. Funniest day of the week.
7. Snarky_A, besides being brilliant and snarky, is a hat-making rock star; Cate is sixy on Saturdays and gives humorous mumbles even when she feels cruddy; Sassy Britches is one anonymously funny, Umbro-loving, Mama Mia-watching, thoughtfully commenting blogger. There are way too many fantastic blogs and bloggers to keep going at this point.

In other news, my sister thinks I should change my profile picture, but I disagree. What does she know? Instead, I've decided to do one of those sexy prints like rich ladies in the 80's had of themselves over the fireplace mantle. I've worked hard, I deserve this, and I do love the 80's. Think Kathleen Turner before she turned into a man. Better yet, The Divine Miss M in Beaches, when she got semi-famous and super-snooty.

Welcome to my mantle:

Too much? Is it the stars? Maybe I should go for a less obtrusive... uh... frame?
***

Ehem, well, on to the giveaway. You might call it something of a "Spa/Pampering" deal. We've got: warm vanilla body wash & lotion; pedicure essentials (toe separators*file*exfoliating scrubber*pumice*etc..); solar oil (one of my favorite things); and of course, the all-import, shimmering O.P.I. nail polish. *Photo coming soon - my camera stinks*

*Despite all the stupidity fun I had during my last random drawing, this time I will be using a random-number-generator-site-of-some-sort. Leave a comment to enter (if you'd like to comment but aren't interested in the prize, just say so and I'll move to the next commenter should your number come up). That's it! Oh, and there will be a second place winner, which might even be better than the first place prize. That's right, it's a copy of my "mantle" print. I'll even sign it for you. Remember, many of these lovely items are also still up for grabs if any of you are really hard up for prizes.

Spa/Pampering contest closes at midnight on Sunday, April 12. Winner will have 5 days to claim prize or another winner will be chosen. Open to U.S. and Canada only.

PLUS: Something BIG is coming... don't miss Thursday!